The Asian is not Swedish enough

Chris was born in Hamburg 26 years ago, served the Federal Republic of Germany as a civilian and is currently busy studying fashion design. That doesn't stop many people from classifying him as foreign because of his skin colour.

Chris was born in Hamburg 26 years ago, served the Federal Republic of Germany as a civilian and is currently busy studying fashion design. That doesn't stop many people from classifying him as foreign because of his skin colour. Philip Eicker spoke to Chris about Chinese heritage, good behaviour and gay life in San Francisco.  

I have the feeling that people who are younger than me are much more relaxed about the subject. (Photo: private)

Chris, some Gayromeo profiles say: "Sorry, no Asians." What do you think when you read something like that?
You mean entries like: "Sorry, no Asians, antisocials and ugly people"? (laughs) There are often lists: no fats, no faggots ... I've also read the following about Asians: "Sorry, nothing against you. But your food is good!" I just think to myself: next time, please add a lot of glutamate to his food! (laughs)  

Have you ever confronted an author?
No, I click it away and don't get annoyed about it. Too much of a waste of time.  

When was the last time you were pigeonholed because of your Chinese ancestry?
It wasn't about me personally, but about my boyfriend. He was asked why he was with an Asian man, as if he had to justify himself. 

What do you think?
It happened in the middle of a bar. It's surreal to hear something like that said in public as a matter of course. And for a second I ask myself: why do people say things like that? But the question quickly disappears. It's not the first case. But I think that some people don't know how to behave. That's the lowest level.  

Where do these reservations come from?
I'm not a psychologist, but what I think is that the ideal of beauty in the gay community is very masculine. As Asians are less masculine physically, they are perhaps seen as unmanly. Also as exotic. Asians are not Swedish enough. But I have the feeling that people who are younger than me are much more relaxed about the subject.

Do you also encounter such reservations when dating?
Dating was a while ago. But when I was 16, for example, I once dated a guy. After the second or third date, he told me he didn't want to meet up with me again: "My friends said it's not good to date an Asian guy." But he was actually a person with a mind of his own. 

How did you react? 
I probably just said: All right, I'm off then. Then I left and just thought to myself that someone really needed new friends.

What helps you against racism frustration?
When I talk to my friends about it. They often react with shock. Later we make jokes about it and think how stupid it is. Sometimes they have an ear for more serious words. That helps. But in general, I just don't do things like that in my house, I keep my distance.

You live in a relationship. Do you sometimes feel marginalised?
No way! Some things are new to my boyfriend and he likes that, but there's definitely no atmosphere like that: One is better than the other.  

You lived in the USA with your parents when you were 17. Was the situation there similar?
You have to know that: We were in a suburb of San Francisco, a very conservative neighbourhood. But when I went into the city with friends, being gay was the most normal thing in the world. There are many more Asians and now even more Latinos than Caucasian people in California, so the gay community has more facets. People there naturally have preferences and dislikes, but you can't categorise Asians away so easily because you deal with them every day. People don't have a fundamental dislike. 

Speaking of prejudices: You're studying fashion design. How gay is that? 
Super gay, right? (laughs) I fulfil a lot of clichés: I'm the gay, slightly wacky, effeminate fashion designer - but I don't care. I don't want people to think that about me. I don't want to make decisions based on whether people think certain things are "too gay". But the judgement behind it is terrifying! Nobody is forcing you to act sexually with people you're not into. If you still have to make this clear immediately in such a discriminatory way, you lack education. Or you've been taught something wrong.    

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