"Being intersex is not a contradiction - it's my reality."
Robi about his childhood as an intersex child
Robi was born intersex - but instead of accepting him as he was, his body was operated on several times. These operations were intended to adapt him to a medical concept of "male". "I repressed that for a long time," says Robi looking back. "It was a big thing to realise that and discover my intersex identity."
Medical interventions without consent - Robis inter experience
The operations took place in his childhood without his consent. "These were not voluntary decisions - they were interventions in my physical integrity." For Robi, these measures were a massive intrusion into his personal and sexual self-determination.
How Robi discovered his intersex identity
Only years later - in an exchange with a friend:in the queer, especially the trans community, Robi began to come to terms with his story. He met people who also do not fit into the binary ideas of man and woman and who, just like him, are fighting for more self-determination. Even though the experiences of inter and trans people are not identical, Robi recognises many common challenges:
"Diverse bodies, the struggle for recognition, operations, medical power - that's what connects us."
These commonalities and the solidarity within the queer community still give him strength today.
Intersex in a binary world
Robi is convinced:
"For me, being queer means having the right to not have to be physically male or female - but simply inter."
For him, it is important that diversity is not only recognised, but also made visible in society. Today, Robi openly and loudly campaigns for the rights of intersex people. For him, visibility is an act of resistance - against pigeonholing, against forced operations, against invisibility.
"For me, solidarity means understanding what moves others, looking for common ground - and then fighting together in our differences."
Robi is grateful for the support from the queer community - and is committed to ensuring that inter voices are also heard and seen.
Intersex: Answers to frequently asked questions
Intersex is multifaceted - just like the questions that go hand in hand with it. In this section, we answer key questions about intersex bodies, social attributions and the right to self-determination.
Being intersex means being born with a body that does not clearly correspond to the medical norms of "male" or "female". This can relate to chromosomes, hormones or genitalia, for example.
No, that's not the same thing. Intersex describes physical characteristics at birth. Trans refers to people whose gender identity does not match the gender assigned to them at birth. Nevertheless, there are many similarities - e.g. in the fight for recognition and self-determination.
In many cases, attempts were (and unfortunately still are) made to "adapt" intersex bodies - e.g. through operations in childhood. These operations are usually carried out without the consent of the person concerned and can have serious physical and psychological consequences. Today, many activists are campaigning for an end to such operations.
Many people only find out that they are intersex at a late stage - e.g. through medical examinations or when they realise that something does not fit in with common gender norms. If you have any questions, an inter-friendly doctor or counselling centre can help.
Respect, visibility and the right to make their own decisions about their own bodies. Many inter people are also calling for an end to unnecessary operations, better education in schools and greater representation in the media and politics.
It is estimated that around 1 in 100 people are intersex - in other words, their body does not conform to the medical norm of being clearly "male" or "female". This affects millions of people worldwide. However, many intersex variations remain unrecognised or are "corrected" at an early stage, which further reduces visibility.
Intersex people can have characteristics that cannot be clearly categorised as "male" or "female" - e.g. chromosomes, hormones or genitalia.
Figures are difficult to record because many intersex people are unaware of their body diversity for a long time or are not recorded correctly in medical terms.
It is estimated that around 80,000 people in Germany are intersex.
This is roughly equivalent to the population of a medium-sized city.
Serious studies worldwide assume that between 0.05 % and 1.7 % of the population have intersex characteristics. Some studies even speak of up to 3.8 % for birthsif all variants of physical sexual characteristics are taken into account.
Counselling & support for intersex people
Anyone dealing with their own intersexuality sometimes needs an exchange, advice or simply a sympathetic ear. Fortunately, there are organisations that do just that - from self-help to human rights work.
Here you will find contact points that can support you:
TransInterQueer e.V.
Intersex people e.V.
Intersex International Europe
German Society for Transidentity and Intersexuality e.V.
More on the topic of coming out
Coming out is a big step for many people - regardless of their age. It can take courage, but it also brings freedom, clarity and often a new sense of self-determination.
You are not alone: many people have similar experiences to Rolf. And there is support available - whether you are just thinking about coming out or are already in the middle of the process.
On mycomingout.com you will find tips, personal stories, counselling services and information about coming out.
Need someone to talk to?
Whether before, during or after coming out - sometimes it helps to talk to someone.
Use the Gay Health Chat - the button at the bottom right will accompany you on the page. There you get anonymous and free of charge:
- Personal live advice in the chat
- Help by e-mail or telephone
- Information on coming out, sexuality, health and more
