TRANS-2 — Gay. Trans*. Part of the scene.

Gay.
Trans*.
Part of the scene.

I. The perspective

„Just as diverse as trans* life stories are, so too are the coming-out experiences associated with them.“

A reference work which, in this form, is unique in the German-speaking world to date.

The brochure "Schwul. Trans*. Part of the scene!" offers gay trans* and cis men, gender-nonconforming and non-binary people who feel part of the gay community all the information they need on respectful behaviour within our diverse scene, gay sex and protection against HIV (safer sex). Brief information on trans* history and important activists as well as links to more information round off the brochure.

Online live talk on the International Transgender Day of Visibility

On the "International Transgender Day of Visibility" on Tuesday, 31 March 2020, the editorial team presented the new brochure of the ICH WEISS WAS ICH TU campaign "Schwul. Trans*. Part of the scene!" at an online live talk. You can watch the discussion again here.

Trans* Coming Out & Transition

Trans* Coming Out

Coming out is also an important experience for trans* people. As diverse as trans* biographies are, so too are the associated coming-out experiences. With the following three short reports, we want to present the different perspectives: KAy reports on his inner trans* coming out, cis man Till gives an insight into how he experienced a trans* coming out and Alexander describes his experiences with the outer trans* coming out.

Transition

Transition refers to the harmonisation of trans* people with their actual gender. To put it somewhat casually, it means making visible to the outside world what has long been clear on the inside. Transition is usually a year-long process - which can be very challenging for the trans* person. This can be divided into three typical levels:

Social, medical and legal transition. You can find out what these look like in detail in our blog post.

II. Trans* and Safer Sex

Trans* and safer sex

Trans* men’s bodies are diverse. The sex they have with other men is too. There are very few differences compared to cis gay men. Protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections is therefore essentially the same for trans* and cis gay men: you’ll find all the key information on the pages about safer sex, protection through treatment, PEP and PrEP in the Knowledge Centre. It’s also good to know the following:

Active! Passive! Fucking as a trans* man

Trans* men also fuck actively. It doesn't matter whether the cock has grown hormonally (enlarged clitoris), whether it's a surgical clit (clitoris penoid) or a phalloplasty, or whether a strap-on has been purchased: The condom is the easiest way to protect yourself from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Alternatively, a femidom can also be used. The femidom is currently considered the safest option for those who have a clitoral penis created by means of metaidioplasty (a type of genital surgery).

The same condom should never be used from the anus to the front hole (the term chosen by many trans* men), as bacteria from the rectum can cause infections there.

If passive trans* men allow themselves to be fucked via the front hole, the condom also provides protection here: against HIV, other sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancy. Even if testosterone is taken, trans* men can remain fertile (as long as the uterus and ovaries have not been removed; see hysterectomy with adnexectomy).

Important for trans* men who have anal sex as well as fronthole sex and take PrEP:

-The top-up phase lasts 7 days, 1 tablet per day.
-Then continue with 1 tablet daily.
-After the last fronthole sex, take 1 tablet daily for at least 7 to a maximum of 28 days.
-Discuss the exact duration with your doctor.

According to the European and German-Austrian guidelines of the medical associations, occasion-based PrEP is also possible for anal sex, but not for fronthole sex.

In the medical harmonisation phase

Long-term treatment with testosterone enlarges or lengthens the clitoris considerably in most trans* men. Some trans* men have their clitoris built up into a clitoral penoid. During the healing process, infections are generally easier here. This applies to all infections - including HIV, other sexually transmitted diseases and fungi. It therefore makes particular sense to look out for injuries in this area.

When removing the mammary glands and creating a male breast (mastectomy), it is also advisable to pay attention to possible injuries during the healing process, as bacteria and viruses can penetrate them more easily.

Trans* men can have elevated liver values during testosterone treatment. If they decide to take PrEP or require PEP, it is advisable to ask the doctor treating them to what extent these methods are suitable for them.

A final word ...

When it comes to sex and sexual practices, it is important to find a self-determined and self-confident way of dealing with your own sexuality, to show and respect boundaries and to say "no" from time to time. Incidentally, this applies to trans* men as well as cis men.

The information on this page is based on ‚Transmen: Trans Health Matters‘, which was published by the Terrence Higgins Trust.

You can find detailed explanations of the terms mentioned here in our trans* glossary at the bottom of this page.

III. FAQs

Frequently asked questions

Respectful behaviour and good communication should always go hand in hand. Many questions are allowed as long as they are formulated respectfully. In the case of a trans* man, this means respecting his identity in all questions. Questions about his "former self" should not be asked during the first exchange. Questions about genitalia are also a "no-go". If a trans* man does not want to answer a question, this should also be respected. Not every trans* man wants to constantly answer educational questions on the subject. If in doubt, it helps to ask yourself whether the question really provides any insight.

Basically, the bodies of trans* men are just as individual and different as the bodies of cis men. Everyone can decide for themselves to what extent they want to harmonise their body hormonally and surgically. The only thing that matters is that they feel comfortable. Many trans* men strive to achieve a male breast (mastectomy). There are trans* men with a penoid reconstruction (replica of a penis) or a "clitpen" (clitoris penoid). Other trans* men do not have any gender reassignment surgery in the genital area and still have a front hole (a term chosen by trans* men). Packer

Every trans* man will answer this question differently for himself. It is good to free yourself from the images that are projected by the media or that have been modelled in your social environment for generations. It is important to remain true to yourself and not try to conform to any clichés or slip into a role that you cannot identify with.

"How and when do I say that I'm trans*?" - This is a question that every trans* man has asked himself before a date with a cis man. There is no standard answer or obligation to come out right from the start! The timing is up to you. Being trans* is only one aspect of being a trans* man. Dating is all about getting to know each other for the first time. When the time comes, it's best to talk about it as naturally as possible. Under no circumstances should it be presented as a problem, otherwise it can actually become one for the other person. At the latest before you become intimate with someone, it is advisable to play with open cards. The reactions of cis men to a trans* coming out can be very different. Basically, it is probably easier for the cis man if he knows about the trans* aspect before the date. Forced outings by third parties are a real "no-go" in any case!

Having responsible and respectful sex is important for everyone. Gender roles can also play a role, depending on desire and type. No one should be assigned a sexual or gender role from the outside in advance. Unfortunately, this still often happens to trans* men. Many trans* men are automatically seen as passive and/or in a submissive role. However, trans* men can just as easily have a hormonally grown penoid, an erection or use dildos. The best way to find out is to explore their bodies together.

IV. Places for sex

What should you look out for in gay sex venues?

Darkroom

Sometimes trans* men may not be granted access to the darkroom before a transition. In order to avoid such unpleasant situations on site, it is advisable to ask the operator of the location in advance what their policy is for dealing with trans* customers. Even after transitioning, it can still take courage to enter the darkroom. Once you're inside, blow jobs can be an option at first to familiarise yourself with this new place and gay sex. That way, you don't have to come out as trans* straight away. Putting your hand protectively in front of your crotch/packer can help you to avoid unwanted contact and not have to reveal your trans* identity straight away. However, this "having to hide" causes some trans* men not to use darkrooms. A more open trans* welcome policy on the part of club operators and cis men would be desirable here.

Cruising in public places

What applies to the darkroom also applies to cruising areas - only without the door policy. Perhaps blowing bubbles can help you to familiarise yourself with the location and situation. However, it is important to remember that you are left to your own devices when cruising. If an attack occurs, it is rather difficult to find allies. This is the advantage of a cruising bar with a darkroom.

Gay saunas

Before visiting a gay sauna, it is advisable to clarify the operator's policy with regard to trans* customers who, for example, have scars on their upper body or do not have a penis. By calling the management, you cannot rule out the possibility of encountering intolerant sauna guests, but at least you can clarify whether the sauna staff are sensitised to trans* customers and may take sides with trans* customers if there are any unpleasant disputes with other guests.

Visible.
Respected.
Connected.

I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING — a prevention project by Deutsche Aidshilfe. Being part of the scene means: knowing yourself, treating one another with care, and staying visible together.

Gay.Trans*.Part of the scene.