Dating apps such as Grindr and Romeo make it easy to find sexual partners – or unsuspecting victims to rob. Are criminals really „preying on gay men“? Victims of muggings and experts share their stories
Imagine you’re looking forward to a Grindr date – and suddenly you’re staring down the barrel of a gun. That’s exactly what happens to Jermaine on 23 November 2025. „I’ve met up with people from Grindr loads of times,“ he says. „Everything was just as usual. You just thought you were meeting someone new.“ The Berliner suspects nothing amiss as he drives to the agreed address. The high-rise in Buckow is only a ten-minute drive away. Here, on the 14th floor, „Nico 20“ is supposed to live. The front door downstairs is open. The 24-year-old takes the lift up and texts his date to say he’s arrived. In the corridor, he hears footsteps behind him and catches sight of a masked man. The man threatens him with a gun and demands his mobile phone and house keys. „It all happened so fast,“ recalls Jermaine. „But gradually I realised: you’ve become a victim of anti-queer violence.“
Instead of the Grindr date he’d been hoping for, a blackmailing ordeal lasting several days began. Whilst still in the stairwell, Jermaine was told to transfer money via PayPal. But he didn’t have an account. „That’s when he became aggressive. I then went home with him.“ At the front door, Jermaine manages to negotiate that he be allowed to wheel his mother, in her wheelchair, into the kitchen first. She’d just had back surgery. Then the perpetrator forced his way into the flat. „He ransacked the place, pocketed jewellery and all my bank cards,“ reports Jermaine. Now he has to accompany the perpetrator to the bank. „He kept threatening me: ‘If you try anything, something will happen to your family!“” And there’s the weapon – a gas pistol, as it later turns out.
The violent ordeal isn’t over yet at the cash machine. The robber isn’t satisfied with what he finds in the account. He also wants to blackmail the victim out of his next pay cheque. Jermaine is allowed to leave and take his mobile phone with him. „He bombarded me with calls every hour and kept threatening me,“ reports the Neukölln resident. But he had already alerted the police. A week later, the blackmailer empties the account and then writes via WhatsApp: „Thanks. That was fun.“
The same old trick, seven times over
What makes Jermaine’s case so special is that it is helping to put a homophobic serial offender behind bars. In January, the Berlin police arrested Daniel F. as he was attempting to lure another man into a trap at the same location. In court, it emerged that this was already the seventh attack following the same pattern: the same robber, the same high-rise block, the same gay dating app. „Fears about online dating: How dangerous is Grindr?“ , asked the Berlin magazine *Siegessäule*, speaking on behalf of many horrified gay men.
Daniel F. is in fact only 20 years old, and appeared before the Regional Court in Berlin-Moabit in June. There, he confessed to all seven offences and an eighth, which was not even included in the charges. Four other people were involved. In November and December 2025, they had stolen around 7,500 euros, both in cash and through the sale of the stolen goods. The money was a key motive for Daniel, who suffers from addiction. However, his hatred of gay men also played a part, according to the court. Judge Frank Klamandt identified „sadistic traits“. Daniel F. had insulted several victims by calling them „faggots“. One was forced to call himself a „son of a bitch“ and a „cocksucker“. Daniel filmed him doing so. One victim forced Daniel to put a dead bird in his mouth.
Jermaine was in the courtroom on all four days of the trial and says: „It was overwhelming to sit opposite the man who did this to me.“ The fact that Daniel F. has to spend five years behind bars is no great relief for Jermaine: „What happens when he gets out of prison? Might he do something even worse to me then?“ Added to this is the feeling that the authorities didn’t take the matter seriously at first. „My attack was the second one,“ Jermaine explains. „I find it sad that it took five more before the Crown Prosecution Service reacted. Thank goodness our state government has now taken up the matter too, because they want to know what went wrong.“
There is now a debate in Berlin as to why the authorities did not realise sooner that a serial offender was at work here. Another trial began in September against an 18-year-old who had attacked at least six gay men in their private homes via Grindr. The police managed to apprehend him after a few weeks, but apparently nobody noticed that he was following the same pattern as Daniel F. „This is where the police’s communication is failing,“ criticised Berlin’s Queer Commissioner, Alfonso Pantisano. Information like this needs to be passed on internally straight away, for example to the police officers responsible for supporting queer people. „Because if these officers aren’t aware of it, they can’t warn the community!“
„Hunt for gay men“?
Many media outlets have now also reported on the Grindr attacks. An ARD documentary even warned of a „Hunt for gay men“, organised via gay dating apps. Maneo is best placed to know just how bad the situation is, at least in the Berlin area. Since 1990, the gay anti-violence project has been documenting homophobic incidents of all kinds – from derogatory remarks to physical assaults. „In themselves, these kinds of dating traps are as old as online dating itself,“ explains Maneo’s director, Candy Spilski. „But since 2022, we have been recording this type of violent incident separately because we have noticed that they are on the rise.“
There is no clear upward or downward trend in Berlin. In 2024, 27 cases of online dating scams were reported to Maneo; in 2025, there were only 11. These include, among the Maneo Annual Reports: genuine dates where the guest steals valuables, attempts at blackmail using shared photos and videos („Sextortion“) as well as robbery or extortion with the use of violence. In very rare cases, sexual violence also occurs. Maneo has identified a trend whereby dating attacks used to be carried out mainly by lone perpetrators, whereas today they are carried out by organised groups – as in Jermaine’s case.
Candy sees the biggest problem as being the „huge number of unreported cases“. Most attacks are never reported and therefore do not appear in either Maneo’s records or the crime statistics. Candy therefore views it as a positive development that some particularly egregious cases have now made it into the media. „This means more and more incidents are coming to light – which is a good thing! – but it’s hard to say whether you can really deduce a trend from this.“
Nor do police statistics suggest there is a surge in dating-related assaults. A random sample in the Cologne conurbation, one of Germany’s gay hubs, shows that not a single case has yet come before the courts. Thorsten Helmers, LGBTIQ* liaison officer at Cologne Police, admits he is aware of a few cases, but as investigations are still ongoing, he is not at liberty to disclose any details. „It is currently almost impossible to establish a reliable picture of the situation regarding these offences,“ explains the Chief Detective Inspector. When a report is made, neither „homosexual“ nor „dating app“ is recorded as a distinguishing feature. Furthermore, Thorsten Helmers suspects that the vast majority of offences are not reported at all. „Ultimately, we can only speculate about the motives – be it shame, concern about negative reactions from those around them, or fear of re-traumatisation,“ says Helmers. „One thing is clear, however: we would like to expressly encourage victims to report every case. Only with this information can potential links between offences be identified and investigated.“
Gay men – easy prey?
Reporting an assault like this isn’t at all easy, because afterwards you’re taken on an „emotional rollercoaster“, as Leopold describes it: „First you withdraw and don’t want to talk about it at all; then it all bursts out of you; then anger sets in; then you feel sad again… It all comes flooding in at once.“ One question torments him in particular: „Why is it me “What happened?"
The musician was overpowered in his Berlin flat on 19 May during what was supposed to be a Grindr date. Whilst still in the hallway, the perpetrators struck him repeatedly in the face. They then held him captive in his own home, insulted him, threatened him and attempted to extort money from him. It was only after three hours that they left, having used his debit card. Leopold was shocked – but not defenceless: on the very same day, he stopped the forced bank transfer and reported the incident to the police. And by the end of the week, his story had gone viral: His Instagram video It has been liked more than 14,000 times. „My main motivation was to warn people,“ explains the 33-year-old. „But I also did it so that I wouldn’t have to feel that shame myself any longer, so that I could say to myself – and to others in the same situation – ‘It’s not your fault if something like this happens to you!“”
At least one of the intruders has now been apprehended: it is the man who is currently on trial in Moabit. Leopold will also give evidence in the case. His experience serves as an unpleasant reminder that gay dating still carries risks, even in 2026. Via a smartphone, it seems very discreet and safe, because you can organise it from the comfort of your sofa and call it off at any time. But from a criminal investigation perspective, a date with a stranger in a private flat is more dangerous than a visit to a darkroom or a gay sauna, where staff and other guests could come to your aid in an emergency.
„The perpetrators knew that gay men are easy prey on this app,“ Leopold notes. „You can arrange a date quickly and without any strings attached – and the meetings can take place straight away at home.“ This despicable act still haunts him to this day, not least because the perpetrators – who have yet to be apprehended – displayed such shameless contempt for queer people. Whilst they were holding him captive, one of the men asked for a cup of coffee but expressed doubts as to whether the cup offered was clean. „It was only afterwards that I realised,“ says Leopold, still in disbelief: „The men were disgusted by me and my belongings because I’m gay.“
Motive: homophobia
Just how distorted some perpetrators’ view of the world is was also evident in the Statements made by the convicted Daniel F., as documented by *Siegessäule* magazine. The judge wanted to know why he had targeted only gay men. The answer: because they were easy victims – with a few exceptions: „We left the Arabs and Turks alone, because we expected them to put up a fight. We always weeded them out beforehand.“
What angers Jermaine most is that the convicted violent offender nevertheless claimed to have nothing against gay people. The misanthropic motives and their causes must not be swept under the carpet: „The perpetrator happens to be from Iran and had a problem with gay people,“ he says of Daniel F. „That is part of the truth.“ For Jermaine, this is „not a far-right background, but an Islamist one“.
Regardless of the motives behind the crime, one thing is certain: neither Jermaine nor Leopold are the „easy targets“ they were taken to be. Both have not only reported the incident to the police but have also gone public with their stories. Jermaine has spoken about his case in interviews and at several Pride parades. There, many people have asked how he is getting on. „These enquiries from the community give me so much strength and reassurance,“ says Jermaine. „It is precisely for these people that it is worth continuing to be visible and vocal.“
Leopold’s video sparked a public debate, and he spoke to MPs and campaigners in the Bundestag, including representatives from Maneo, LSVD+ and Sophie Koch, the Federal Government’s Queer Envoy. The shared aim: to make gay dating – and queer life in general – safer. „We want to work together to ensure that politicians, the police, the judiciary and support services engage in even closer dialogue to prevent such attacks in future,“ explains Leopold. „Anti-queer sentiment is a major social problem, and it takes many different forms: be it criminal, far-right or religious-fundamentalist groups.“ Politicians must take this seriously and provide funding for organisations, associations and initiatives that are combating it. „I was personally affected by hate-motivated violence via an online dating app,“ Leopold notes, „but it also manifests itself in many other places, most recently in the attack on Berlin’s CSD.“
Safer Gay Dating
Leopold also believes the platform operators bear responsibility, particularly Grindr and Romeo. „They need to make their apps safer: „There’s so much advertising on Grindr; they could easily send out a local alert, for example to all Berlin profiles: ‘Watch out! Several attacks have already been reported.“„ The pop singer believes verifying users“ true identities makes sense, although many people value gay dating apps precisely because of the anonymity they offer, particularly in countries where gay people face state persecution. “It’s a balancing act. But Grindr makes a lot of money from its users. They have the resources to come up with a solution. User safety should be the top priority.”
Candy Spilski from Maneo advises users to take the same precautions that have stood the test of time since the early days of the internet: „Meet up in a neutral place to start with – ideally somewhere where LGBTQ+ people are welcome. You can always go somewhere else later.“ And: „Taking drugs makes it harder to assess risks properly. Often, you’ll leave the club and then log in again.“
If a crime is committed, Maneo recommends the following: where possible, save online chats and photos by taking screenshots. Then write a report of the incident so that you have the details to hand later should the police or judicial authorities ask for them. Those affected can contact victim support services at any time, such as Maneo or the White Ring turn to. They offer a listening ear, legal advice and, if necessary, can put you in touch with therapists or doctors. Candy’s conclusion: „We mustn’t let anyone spoil the fun of dating. It’s important that we listen to our gut feeling. If we get a strange vibe in a dating situation, we should – if possible – walk away.“
You can find even more „tips for safe online dating“ in the Maneo Newsletter, 2024 (from page 6) and on the website of the Police Advice.
