„Wichsen“, „jerking off“, „masturbating“, „onanising“, „solo sex“ – there are many terms for self-pleasure. What’s interesting is that some words, such as „Wichser“ (or „wanker“ in English), have a distinctly negative connotation – they’re even swear words – which highlights the fact that masturbation has had a very ambivalent reputation and was even considered taboo for centuries. That only changed with the sexual revolution of the „68 movement. In a film from the 1970s, the American comedian Woody Allen once joked that “Masturbation is sex with someone I love”. From then on, masturbation was no longer quite so heavily stigmatised.
Masturbation: between old taboos and new myths
It is worth taking a look back at history, for even in ancient Rome, „laying one’s hand upon oneself“ – which, incidentally, is what the Latin root of the word means – was considered a major taboo. Men who masturbated, in particular, were accused of lacking masculinity and having a „feminine nature“, and all manner of illnesses were also attributed to masturbation. Among the ancient Greeks and Egyptians, however, the view was much more positive: In ancient Egypt, solo sex was even associated with fertility, good harvests, sufficient water in the Nile and many other positive things. By the 19th century, however, masturbation had once again come to be viewed negatively, and was often even banned. Religion played a major, though not the only, role in this.
All of this, even though it was a long time ago, still has an impact, says sex educator David Schulz, who works at „BikoBerlin“, an independent organisation that provides further training for educational professionals in the field of sex education. There are still taboos and prejudices. „It’s not so much the classic myths that used to be around, such as: “Masturbation makes you go blind’ or ‘you’ll grow hair on your hands’ or things like that. But the link to nutrient loss is definitely very widespread. In other words, the idea that people shouldn’t masturbate because you lose a lot of nutrients. This is particularly common in the gym scene – the idea that there’s a kind of energy loss and that you no longer seem as masculine, that you lose your masculinity.”
How old feelings of guilt live on in new movements
But such prejudices are not confined to the „Manosphere“ – that extremely cis-male-dominated scene; the so-called „NoFap“ movement, which emerged around 2011 in online communities, also promotes abstinence from masturbation as a means of achieving increased energy, focus, masculinity and social success. The movement combines pseudoscientific arguments with traditional ideals of masculinity and a vague critique of capitalism directed at the porn industry. However, there are no clinical studies proving the negative effects of normal masturbation or the positive effects of abstinence – yet this does not seem to be dampening the popularity of these sometimes far-fetched theories.
Religiously influenced feelings of guilt certainly play a role, even today, whether amongst Christians, Muslims or other believers. David Schulz says: „There is definitely a link between the themes of shame and guilt surrounding solo sex and religion. But I wouldn’t go so far as to generalise that across all religions – that it’s a sin, or that sex should only be for God, for reproduction, or within heterosexual cis contexts. There’s also an undertone of anti-queer sentiment, or the idea that any form of sexuality is frowned upon. However, this only applies within the conservative circles of these religions. It’s certainly not the case for all Christians or all Muslims; rather, it’s prevalent in the conservative branches, and they tend to be particularly vocal.“
Masturbation: between moral norms and everyday reality
Just how deeply rooted masturbation is in society was already evident in the United States in the late 1940s – at that time still a deeply conservative country. The reports by the sexologist Alfred Kinsey came as a shock to American society. Kinsey demonstrated that masturbation was so widespread among men and women that it spanned all social classes, professions and levels of education. There was such a gulf between moral norms and lived reality that it could no longer be ignored on empirical grounds. Yet all too often, that is precisely what happened – in keeping with the mindset that ‘what cannot be, must not be’. Just as with the issue of homosexuality, masturbation was hushed up for many years.
The emergence of the internet and the widespread availability of pornography since the late 1990s brought a new dimension to the debates. What had previously been a private form of behaviour that was difficult to measure was now linked to a specific form of media consumption – pornography, which had not been illegal since the late 1960s, fostered a greater openness. Today, in the age of social media, some posts are now warning against young people and children consuming pornography too early and too intensively, and possibly masturbating incessantly.
David Schulz from „BikoBerlin“ believes, however, that it is not the consumption of pornography in itself that is the problem, but rather the lack of analysis of what is being watched: „But this is something that concerns us all, even those who neither consume nor produce pornography. And when it comes specifically to young people, our approach is always to give them the opportunity to make sense of what they’ve seen. And we advocate answering the questions that then arise. That’s the important thing here, because people aren’t automatically traumatised just because they’ve watched a porn film once. What’s really harmful is silence.“
Masturbation, fantasies and one’s own sexuality
Sex educator Schulz says that there are indeed differences between masturbation among heterosexual men, homosexual men and women, for example in terms of frequency, social acceptance or its significance for the individual. In surveys, men tend to be more open about their masturbation habits and to do so in greater numbers, whilst women are more cautious. For trans people, the key factor is the stage of their transition they are at. Dissatisfaction with their genitals leads some trans people to refrain from masturbation – at least temporarily, according to some sex researchers. However, the evidence on this point is still rather limited.
It’s worth noting that masturbation is always, to some extent, an exploration of one’s own fantasies. In some strictly regulated relationships, it can even lead to scenes of jealousy when one partner masturbates – perhaps even whilst watching porn, explains sex educator David Schulz. Another issue is certainly that young adults sometimes prefer to go it alone, indulging in their sexual fantasies whilst masturbating – as this is the best way to imagine them without having to cater to their partner’s possible desires. „The pandemic has set things back considerably in terms of social and sexual behaviour,“ says Schulz.
Why masturbation has more to do with freedom than with guilt
On closer inspection, the history of masturbation is also a history of fear. Fear of the uncontrollable body, of the individual’s autonomy, of the imagination as a subversive force, of loss – of energy, of semen, of God’s grace, of social control. Throughout history, society has projected its deepest fears onto this private act. What changed was not the act itself. It remained what it had always been: a fundamental experience of the human body, deeply rooted in our nature. What changed was the significance that a society attributed to this act – and, with it, the power it could wield over those who performed it.
The idea of masturbation as a vice, an illness, an addiction or a sin has always been a construct of guilt – and guilt is one of the most effective instruments of social control known to any culture. The fact that medicine and psychology have long since declared this guilt to be unfounded represents a significant step forward for civilisation. The fact that shame, taboos and misinformation nevertheless persist worldwide, including in Western societies, shows just how deeply ingrained cultural influences are – and how slowly even those beliefs change for which science has long since found clear answers.
Yet the story of masturbation is not over yet. It continues to be written in schools, in therapy rooms, in online forums, in religious communities and in the quiet struggles that every person has with their own body. And, as sex educator Schulz points out – and this is also worth mentioning – there is, of course, always such a thing as „too much“ of anything, including masturbation. However, as long as it does not lead to physical or psychological harm, everyone should be free to do their own thing. The history of taboos and prohibitions is far too long for people to restrict themselves today – that is the unanimous view of many sex researchers.
