Category: Community

  • Sex work under pressure

    Sex work under pressure

    Protest for safe space for sex work in Berlin

    It is February 2025. A grey afternoon. People gather on Goebenstraße in Berlin with a banner, high-visibility vests and red umbrellas. About twenty people have come, sex workers...members and supportersSome of them are holding up signs. „Full decriminalisation now,“ they say, „Support your local sex workers.“.

    Hand holds a protest sign reading „Sex work is work“ at a demonstration for the rights of sex workers in Berlin.
    Protest in Berlin: Sign reading „Sex work is work“ for the rights of sex workers.

    They are standing in front of the office of the Berlin municipal housing company Gewobag to protest against the sudden closure of Café Julia, a night café for sex workers. „We have been planning this space for years, which is not only intended to offer advice and resources, but also to be a safe place for people who are repeatedly marginalised,“ says one of the speeches.

    Café Julia was a dream that almost became reality. Funding from the Senate had also been promised. Cooperation with the Berlin City Mission, which would have run the corner building near Berlin's Frobenstraße during the day, had already been agreed. The sex workers wanted to open it at night, in line with the needs of street workers.

    Kurfürstenkiez: The daily working life of sex workers

    Frobenstraße is a side street in the red-light district of Kurfürstenkiez. Kurfürstenkiez has never been an easy place, but in recent years the pressure has increased noticeably. With rising rents and ever-new construction projects, hostility towards those who have to work in this area is also growing. Where neighbours used to greet each other or at least look away, today there are more frequent reports, complaints and night-time police checks. At the same time, there is a lack of low-threshold places that could provide security. While sex workers stand visibly every few metres on the busy Kurfürstenstraße to solicit their clients, the location on Frobenstraße is much more secluded. This street is the workplace of trans women.

    High heels belonging to a sex worker on the pavement of Berlin's Kurfürstenstraße.
    Street scene in the Kurfürstenkiez neighbourhood: high heels belonging to a sex worker on Kurfürstenstraße.

    A designated place in public space can have advantages. Customers who want to meet a trans woman know that they can get to know her there. They can support each other and kill time together while waiting. Visibility in this place means finding each other.

    Visibility in sex work: between protection and violence

    At the same time, visibility is a danger. In the book Trap Door: Trans Cultural Production and the Politics of Visibility, published in 2017 by Tourmaline, Eric A. Stanley and Johanna Burton, the visibility of trans people, which has increased in a completely new way worldwide since the 2010s, is described as a trap door. Not like a door you can walk through, away from one place and towards another, perhaps more beautiful place. But rather a trap that can rob you of the solid ground beneath your feet at any moment.

    Sex workers on Frobenstraße are confronted with verbal abuse, threats and physical violence. They repeatedly report that groups of men deliberately drive past them in cars to throw bottles at them and shout insults. This is only possible because of their specific visibility, a hypervisibility that they experience as trans women who work in the sex industry and depend on public spaces as their workplace. Visibility without protection, without resources, is dangerous. The latest figures from Trans Murder Monitoring by the organisation TGEU (Trans Europe and Central Asia) show that sex workers account for 34% of trans people murdered worldwide this year.

    Separate rooms for trans* sex workers: More than just a café

    For this reason, Trans foughtSexworks, a Berlin-based group of transSex workers, for as long as they need, for a space that they can manage themselves and design according to the needs of their own community. The Gewobag property would have been within walking distance of the trans* streetwalking area and would have served not only as a café, but also as a place to do laundry and shower, as a refuge from violence and as a place for socialising. Everyday necessities for a dignified life that cannot be taken for granted by trans* sex workers.

    It is not only poverty that makes it difficult for them to access safe spaces. Lack of documentation, racism, gaps in their CVs and transphobia also play a role. Even those who can afford to visit a café are not welcome everywhere or feel comfortable there. The stigma attached to prostitution permeates society as a whole. It makes spaces for those who are particularly hard hit small and rare.

    Gewobag advertises the capital's „diversity“ online. Nevertheless, after agreeing to the project, it suddenly rented its premises to another interested party. Now a dental laboratory is to move in there. This company does not depend on the location near the red-light district. However, it brings a clean image to the neighbourhood.

    Anyone looking for explanations will quickly suspect that Gewobag used Café Julia as a speculative wild card in order to achieve a higher rent. What really happened remains unclear.

    When sex work disappears from the internet: censorship on social media

    The rally to protest against the shattered dream of having their own space is one of the last major actions that transcould make sex work visible. The Instagram account, which has over 10,000 followerswhich was internationally networked and provided users with education, empowerment, donation opportunities and community, was blocked in August by the Meta-owned platform without warning and, of course, without justification. A request to review the decision remained ineffective.

    Sex workers have always had an ambivalent relationship with social media. They were pioneers on almost every platform.Once established, they made themselves attractive to a broad audience through their content, as in the case of Tumblr or Twitter, and had a particular influence on financing models (example: Onlyfans). In 2022, the European Sex Workers Rights Alliance (ESWA) showed in a study that platforms systematically impose shadow bans on sex workers and delete their accounts.

    „Censorship is not limited to images or sexual content. Even educational, political or activist posts are often flagged and removed. Terms such as „sex work“, „OnlyFans“ or „escort“ are automatically flagged by moderation algorithms – regardless of the context in which they are used. This means that simply recounting your own life experiences, advertising a legal service or posting about human rights can be grounds for deletion. This was written by Yigit Aydinalp, programme director at ESWA, in an open letter to Meta in May 2025.

    This censorship also affects individuals, groups and associations in countries where sex work is legalised or decriminalised. The corporation is thus placing its own moral values above local laws and exporting the criminalisation of sex work from the US to Europe.

    When an account is deleted, years of shared knowledge often disappear. Warnings about dangers, legal advice materials, information for migrants, art projects, expressions of grief and community history are then gone. Everything is deleted with a single click.

    Sex workers cannot present themselves online as individuals, nor can they express their personalities, dreams and destinies. They are also not allowed to stand up for themselves or participate in political discourse.

    Platforms, profits and rights of sex workers

    Even in Germany, where sex work is legal under certain conditions, a few tech companies dominate the virtual space that sex workers can use. The platforms are characterised by high fees, poor service and prioritising the egos of customers over the safety of sex workers. Added to this are the stigma attached to prostitution in language and structure and a lack of opportunities for users to have a say. There is a lot of money to be made from them as long as hardly anyone is interested in the injustices they face.

    Who talks about sex work – and who is silenced?

    Paradoxically, the media, both social and traditional, are full of the topic of sex work. Sex sells, and selling sex sells twice as well. Talking about sex workers is permitted, rewarded, and has fuelled many a journalist's career. This year, too, the community was not spared a debate on the criminalisation of sex work in Germany.

    It doesn't matter who has the better arguments or the lived experience. The space in which the debate is held only allows for one of the many perspectives on the topic: the perspective of those who do not share spaces with real sex workers. It's convenient to talk about a group that cannot respond. That way, you don't have to worry about precision, equality or respect for that group.

    Despite everything: sex workers are creating space for themselves

    On the way back from the rally, the red umbrellas look like small, defiant dots in the grey cityscape. Yes, Café Julia was prevented from opening. Yes, TransSexworks was silenced by Meta. And yet the group continues to search for opportunities for their self-managed space in the Kurfürstenkiez neighbourhood. And yet there is already a new Instagram account and, moreover, a new website that will enable documentation and networking independent of Meta & Co. in the future. This community cannot be deleted. There is no world without sex workers.

    Red umbrellas at a protest by sex workers in Berlin.
    Symbol of the sex work movement: red umbrellas after a rally in the Kurfürstenkiez neighbourhood.

    FAQ: Frequently asked questions about sex work, rights and safe spaces

    Here we answer key questions about sex work, the working conditions of sex workers, and the challenges that trans people in particular face in this profession. The FAQs provide guidance and background information on rights, safety, and social debates.

    What is sex work? (Definition of sex work)

    Sex work refers to voluntary sexual services provided in exchange for payment. The term emphasises that this is gainful employment and not exploitation or coercion.

    Why is sex work considered work?

    Sex work is work because it requires effort, time, physical presence and professionalism. Sex workers earn their living from it and, like other professions, need protection, rights and safe working conditions.

    Why are trans sex workers particularly at risk?

    Trans sex workers often experience multiple discrimination. Transphobia, stigma and social exclusion increase the risk of violence and lack of access to safe spaces.

    What is the significance of red umbrellas in sex work?

    The red umbrella is the international symbol of the sex work movement. It stands for protection, solidarity and the demand for rights and decriminalisation.

    Why do many trans people work in the sex industry?

    Many trans people end up in sex work because they face severe discrimination in the regular job market. A lack of documentation, trans misogyny, gaps in their CV, or difficulty accessing housing make it hard for them to find regular jobs.
    Sex work often remains one of the few ways to secure income and autonomy.

    What is the difference between decriminalisation and legalisation of sex work?

    - legalisation means: Sex work is permitted, but only within strict legal parameters. Anyone who does not comply with these parameters will be criminalised.
    - Decriminalisation means: Sex workers are not prosecuted and can do their work more safely, with greater self-determination and without fear of the police or stigma.

    How can neighboursresidents and local residentsSupport sex workers?

    You can support us by:
    – Respectfully yours,
    – do not take photographs
    – Do not complain anonymously to the authorities.
    – leaves them their workspace
    – Report violence or assaults
    – Question prejudices
    Many conflicts arise because people perceive sex workers as a „problem“ rather than as human beings.

    Help and advice for sex workers

    Here you will find support services relating to rights, safety, health, counselling and community services – nationwide and in Berlin.

    Need someone to talk to?

    Whether it's an urgent matter or just for guidance, sometimes it helps to talk to someone in confidence. Use the Gay Health Chat – the button at the bottom right will take you to the page. There you can get anonymous and free:

    • Personal live advice in the chat
    • Help by e-mail or telephone
    • Information on health, law, everyday life and more

    Advice centre for sex workers – Hydra e.V.

    Advice, legal support, health information and empowerment specifically for sex workers.

    To the website

    German AIDS Service Organisation – Information on sex work

    Rights, safety, health and support for people in sex work.

    To the website

    Trans*Sexworks Berlin

    Community-based support for trans sex workers. Empowerment, counselling & resources.

    To the website

    German Professional Association for Erotic and Sexual Services (BesD)

    Advice, legal information and political advocacy for sex workers.

    To the website

    Lambda Berlin-Brandenburg

    Support for queer young people, including on issues such as discrimination, violence and coming out.

    To the website

    Berlin Crisis Service

    24/7 psychosocial support in crises, situations of violence, housing problems and stressful situations.

    To the website

    Women's and Trans* Safe Spaces Berlin

    Emergency accommodation, shelters and counselling for FLINTA individuals threatened by violence.

    To the website

    Queer Refugees Germany

    Support for queer migrants – also relevant for undocumented sex workers.

    To the website

    Amnesty International – Sex workers' rights

    Materials, protection concepts & political work for decriminalisation and rights.

    To the website

  • Chemsex – Intimacy in a state of intoxication

    Chemsex – Intimacy in a state of intoxication

    Chemsex & seduction: the thrill of intoxication

    The other day in chat, an attractive young man sent me a picture of himself: sitting casually at a table covered with white and other powders, he grins at the camera. A glass pipe and other paraphernalia. He invites me to his place. I say that I don't take drugs, but I still toy with the idea of going to see him because I'm horny, or rather, restless.

    I think about all the nights and days, the weekends that lasted until Wednesday, when I was high myself. I've been clean for eight years. Why did I take drugs? The simple answer: because I'm addicted. The more complex answer has something to do with the fact that I'm gay, that drugs are part of gay history, that making contact with other men is – apparently – easier when a “social lubricant” is available.

    „Illustration of a man in a messy flat with drug paraphernalia and a packet of ‚love‘ – symbolic image for chemsex.“
    „Chemsex: Between intoxication, love and loss of control“

    Chemsex as a phenomenon: substances, terms, motives

    When I was still using drugs, we called it PnP (“party and play”), and even today, especially in chat rooms, h&h (“high and horny”) is still used. Drug use seems to be as normalised as a glass of wine with dinner, at least in some parts of the scene. But is this phenomenon really something new? After all, “sex and drugs” was already the motto in the 1970s, when gay club culture was in its infancy. But how does chemsex differ from substance use when partying in a club?

    Chemsex refers to the consumption of substances (“chems”) such as GHB/GBL, ketamine, mephedrone, crystal meth and monkey dust before or during sexual intercourse. The term is mainly used in gay contexts or for MSM (men who have sex with men). The substances are usually taken orally, nasally or by inhalation. Intravenous consumption is also observed, particularly with crystal meth.

    The motives for chemsex are manifold: a desire to break down barriers, increase sexual performance or have a more intense sexual experience. The aim is to break down shame and taboos, create (apparent) closeness, intimacy or relationships, or deal with stress and insecurities about one's own body. The phenomenon is thus also understood as an individual and collective psychological defence mechanism to escape social and subcultural expectations.

    Between self-optimisation and ecstasy

    In his lecture “Intoxication and Sexuality” at Chemkon Berlin in March 2025, psychotherapist and philologist Dr. Dr. Stefan Nagel spoke about the relevance of ecstatic states: the higher the degree of self-control and external control, the stronger the desire to lose control.

    As gay men, we are under a lot of external pressure, which we often internalise. In order to be accepted by society as a whole, we have to be “real men”, “normal” and strong, keep our emotions under control, and be productive and successful. In order to be accepted by other gay men, we have to be young and good-looking, work out, be sexually potent and promiscuous.

    These demands lead to “minority stress” – we do everything we can to be perfect: we work longer hours, go to the gym more often, take Viagra so we can have sex for longer. It seems logical that with so much self-control, the desire to lose control arises. And that we resort to all kinds of aids to achieve this is also logical – especially when they are easily accessible and widely accepted. Both sex and drugs are “physically experiential, i.e. real suspensions of what we suffer from,” according to Stefan Nagel in his lecture.

    Chemsex & intimacy: closeness, bodies, desires

    Chemsex is not only an escape from something, but also a search for intimacy that we may otherwise lack. An intimacy that is intensified by drugs. Perhaps the boy in the chat room the other day also “just” wanted to be held and loved. Instead, all that came out of his mouth (or keyboard) was: “Cum on me.”

    What heterosexuals see as the continuation of our species was, until recently, a death sentence for us gays. Since HIV can be kept in check with medication, barebacking went through a phase of fetishisation and is now the rule rather than the exception. Which is completely natural – I want to be as close as possible to the object of my desire (or love).

    And this is precisely where the chemicals come in: they simulate a fusion, a complete dissolution of boundaries between two (or more) men. A quasi-absolute intimacy with someone I usually don't even know, but to whom I open myself completely under the influence of the perfect cocktail of drugs.

    But does intimacy really mean merging? Or is it rather not knowing where I end and the other person begins? Being generous with my own mistakes and those of others? Showing myself to be vulnerable, sometimes even unattractive, and allowing for moments of failure? Intimacy would be when you laugh anyway, when you love me anyway, when you stay anyway.

    The chemsex community: between safe space and abyss

    The German Chemsex Survey – a large-scale survey of 2,024 people – showed that MSM are often affected by minority stress and that chemsex users often suffer from mental health issues. However, it was striking that men who engage in chemsex are less affected by internalised homonegativity than men who use other substances (such as alcohol or poppers) during sex or consume drugs without sex.

    “Internalised homonegativity” refers to the internalisation of social prejudices – whereby queer people experience themselves as different, inferior or even defective. At first glance, it is surprising that chemsex users in particular reported less internalised homonegativity, as one would assume that chemsex is a coping strategy for dealing with negative feelings.

    As a man who has been involved in the chemsex scene myself, I am not entirely surprised by this result. Especially when “slamming” (i.e. intravenous consumption) crystal meth, I experienced an immense sense of belonging to a very specific group: gay, HIV-positive, junkie, slammer. Or, as Prof. Dr. Daniel Deimel, one of the authors of the Chemsex Survey, puts it somewhat more positively: “Chemsex community as a safe space?”

    Chemsex as a kind of communion for outsiders, then, pushed so far to the margins of society that we experience a sense of belonging when we find other men on those margins who are into the same things as us. And crystal meth in particular leads to a feeling of superiority. We feel unique because we are. We find pride in our brokenness.

    When chemsex becomes a trap: from intoxication to problem

    “Without taking anything at a chill? I couldn't do that.” Another attractive man, before we start kissing. Once again, I've ended up at a “chill”, one of those private drugs-and-sex events that are so easy to find in chat rooms. Even in my abstinence, I'm still attracted to the community outside of society.

    Precisely because chemsex users experience this sense of community, it is difficult for men who perceive their consumption as problematic to find their way out of this context. This is compounded by the fact that it is already difficult to recognise that there is a problem when you are surrounded only by other consumers. In fact, similar to “sero-sorting”, i.e. only having sex with men with the same HIV status, “chems-sorting” takes place in the scene.

    It is often a big step from recognising that there might be a problem to actually seeking help. Personally, I had to crash at home countless times after days of bingeing, alone and without my close-knit community, before I realised that I wasn't finding what I was looking for in chemsex. The search had become an addiction.

    Ways out of chemsex: help, groups & new intimacy

    For MSM who engage in chemsex, there are a wide variety of services available depending on their needs. Those who want to reduce the risks associated with their drug use can have their drugs tested – in Berlin, for example, at three different locations, including the Gay Counselling Centre. Drug-Checking Berlin also issues current warnings about certain substances on its website. Various websites, including Deutsche Aids-Hilfe, provide information on “safer use”, i.e. measures to minimise the risks associated with drug use.

    If substance use becomes problematic, the Drug Emergency Service in Berlin offers support. The website of the German Centre for Addiction Issues provides a directory of addiction support services for all federal states. Gay men seeking advice can easily contact the Gay Counselling Service, Checkpoint Berlin or AIDS-Hilfe. Checkpoint's “Chemsex Check” offers guidance on whether there might be a problem. Aids-Hilfe organises discussion groups in various cities, including Mann-O-Meter in Berlin. Schwulenberatung Berlin has a weekly open queer addiction group. Here, experiences are shared in a relaxed and non-judgmental environment.

    And for those of us for whom chemsex has actually become a problem, there is the option of detoxification as well as outpatient and inpatient rehabilitation at medical clinics or specialised institutions. The only clinics with programmes for chemsex users to date are the Salus Clinic in Cologne-Hürth and Haus Lenné in Berlin.

    Those who decide to pursue a path of abstinence in the long term will find like-minded people in 12-step groups such as Crystal Meth Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. There, experiences of abstinence – referred to as “recovery” in the groups – are shared and a sense of community is fostered, often leading to close friendships. The focus is not only on how we can (re)discover a fulfilling sexuality while remaining sober, but also on how we can build lasting intimacy and thus a fulfilling life.

    FAQs about chemsex – definition, experiences and therapy

    Chemsex raises many questions: What exactly is chemsex, what is a clear definition of chemsex, what kind of chemsex therapy is available, and how do others deal with their chemsex experiences? I have summarised the most important points for you here.

    What is chemsex?

    Chemsex refers to sex under the influence of certain drugs, such as crystal meth, GHB/GBL, mephedrone or ketamine. These substances are consumed specifically to enhance pleasure, stamina, disinhibition or intimacy. The term is mostly used in gay contexts or among MSM (men who have sex with men).

    Chemsex definition – how can it be summarised concisely?

    A commonly used definition of chemsex is:
    Chemsex is the planned use of psychoactive substances in connection with sexual encounters in order to achieve certain physical or emotional effects – such as increased pleasure, reduced shame or a more intense sense of community.

    Why do people engage in chemsex? (Chemsex experience)

    Many report feelings such as the following in their chemsex experiences:
    – fewer inhibitions and less shame
    – Increased sexual performance
    – intense closeness or „merging“ with others
    At the same time, some also describe very stressful chemsex experiences: loss of control, crashes after days-long sessions, loneliness afterwards, or difficulties experiencing sexuality without drugs.

    What options are available for chemsex therapy?

    Chemsex therapy is not a single method, but rather a range of support services, for example:
    - consultation meetings at queer counselling centres or AIDS support organisations
    - addiction counselling and outpatient therapy if consumption gets out of control
    - Inpatient programmes (Rehabilitation, detoxification) in clinics specialising in chemsex
    - self-help groups such as Crystal Meth Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous
    The aim of chemsex therapy can be to reduce consumption, make it safer or quit altogether – while at the same time developing a sexuality that is harmonious even without drugs.

    Who can I talk to if I want to discuss my chemsex experience?

    If you feel that your chemsex experience is bothering you, you can contact queer counselling centres, AIDS support organisations, specialised addiction counselling services or online chats (see below). There, you can talk about your situation confidentially and anonymously and work out together whether and what form of support (e.g. chemsex therapy or self-help group) might be right for you.

    Help and advice on chemsex

    Here you will find contact points for drug checking, safer use, counselling and self-help groups.

    Need someone to talk to?

    Whether it's an urgent matter or just for guidance, sometimes it helps to talk to someone in confidence. Use the Gay Health Chat – the button at the bottom right will take you to the page. There you can get anonymous and free:

    • Personal live advice in the chat
    • Help by e-mail or telephone
    • Information on health, law, everyday life and more

    Drug checking in Berlin

    Information and locations for testing substances in Berlin.

    To the website

    Safer Use – German AIDS Service Organisation

    Tips for safer drug use.

    To the website

    Berlin Drug Emergency Service

    Emergency help and counselling for drug problems.

    To the website

    Addiction support directory (DHS)

    Nationwide directory of addiction support services.

    To the website

    Gay counselling Berlin

    Advice for queer people on alcohol, drugs and chemsex.

    To the website

    Chemsex Check – Checkpoint Berlin

    Self-test to assess your own chemsex consumption.

    To the website

    Drugs & substance use – AIDS support

    General information about drugs, risks and support.

    To the website

    Chemsex support – QuApSSS

    Support services for people with chemsex experiences.

    To the website

    Chex – Man-O-Meter Berlin

    Counselling and group services specifically for chemsex.

    To the website

    Salus Clinic Hürth

    Inpatient programme for MSM who engage in chemsex.

    To the website

    Lenné House Berlin

    Therapy and rehabilitation services also available for chemsex users.

    To the website

    Crystal Meth Anonymous

    12-step self-help group for people with crystal meth problems.

    To the website

    Narcotics Anonymous

    Self-help group for people with drug addiction.

    To the website
  • Gay Sauna: Love and Identity in the Film „Sauna“

    Gay Sauna: Love and Identity in the Film „Sauna“

    With a film titled „Sauna,“ one might reasonably expect to see casual, non-committal sex. However, Norwegian director Mathias Broe is also interested in what needs remain unsatisfied – and how a relationship between men can cause offence even within the queer community.

    More than just sex in the gay sauna

    Diffuse light, which only allows the bodies to be guessed at, creates a dim atmosphere. It never seems to be light in Johan's life. At least, that is the impression conveyed by the first scenes. Where we are is made clear – at least to the knowledgeable audience – by the sound. Moaning, panting, loud breathing. Sounds that can be heard in any darkroom. You can literally smell sweat, poppers and lubricant. Whether it's a quickie in the basement of a gay bar, in the sauna cabin or a fuck with a Grindr date – Johan (Magnus Juhl Andersen) lives his sexuality to the fullest. Even his workplace is completely defined by it, because the young, self-confident man from the Norwegian countryside works at Copenhagen's only gay sauna, „Adonis“. There, he hands out towels at the reception desk, stuffs used ones into the washing machine and cleans the traces of semen from the glory hole wall in the morning.

    Johan in an intense sex scene in the gay sauna in the film „Sauna“.
    Johan in an overwhelming sex scene in the gay sauna.

    Johan between the darkroom and the gay sauna

    But as heavenly and promising as this hypersexualised world may sound to many, Johan feels that these endless, interchangeable sex dates are ultimately meaningless and therefore leave behind an indefinable emptiness. He repeatedly scrolls through the dating apps in search of the next guy, the next thrill. „You won't find friends on Grindr,“ says his colleague in the sauna.

    How the gay sauna becomes a stage

    Director Mathias Broe, who also collaborated on the screenplay (an adaptation of a novel by Mads Ananda Lodahl), sketches this dilemma in a few, but all the more poignant snapshots. He neither judges nor overdramatises this sex-driven lifestyle, nor does he stage it provocatively. Instead, in this first chapter of his feature film debut, he depicts an attitude to life and a world that will be familiar to many gay men. And probably only a queer director could so casually and naturally incorporate an anal douche into a plot or capture the smacking sound of lubricant.

    Love instead of anonymous encounters in the gay sauna

    But with his next online date, almost everything in Johan's life changes. The young man named William, who stands at his door, is a little unsure and shy, but very cute. When the two finally get physically closer, William asks him not to touch his chest. A moment of irritation, then Johan realises: his date is a trans man. He could have known if he had really been interested in his sex partners and had actually read their dating profiles. Johan overcomes his initial uncertainty and asks William (played by trans actor Nina Terese Rask) to stay. Something about William fascinates him; he feels a closeness and growing intimacy that he has not experienced in his previous sex dates – or perhaps has not allowed himself to experience.

    Johan and William in an intimate bed scene in the queer film „Sauna“.
    Johan and William share a tender moment in bed.

    Mathias Broe tells the story of how this encounter, which was actually planned as a one-night stand, develops into an intimate romance, entirely from Johan's perspective. Johan is equally intoxicated and overwhelmed by his feelings. The sex scenes are full of passion, explicit and yet restrained at the same time.  But a new world opens up for Johan in other ways too. There is Willam's frustrating and humiliating battle with the authorities for access to gender reassignment surgery and hormones. And there is Willam's queer circle of friends and their supportive community, as well as their venues and parties, which are very different from the gay cruising spots that Johan has mainly frequented up to now.

    Limits of tolerance in the gay sauna

    But this clash of cultures and sexual identities does not go as smoothly as Johan had imagined in his infatuation. William is not welcome as a guest in the sauna and is thrown out. „Men only“ here means cis men only. But it's not just at his workplace and among his circle of friends that Johan's liaison is met with incomprehension and even outright rejection. He himself also reaches his limits in balancing this relationship. Don't expect a classic love story with a cheesy happy ending here. That would also contradict the realistic approach of director Mathias Broe, who, with „Sauna“, calmly reflects the fragile tolerance within the queer scene and its debates.

    The community, says Broe, is subject to constant and diverse political attacks from the right. „This makes it all the more important for him to tell a relatable story about love while highlighting the specific facets of queer experiences, in the hope of contributing to a better understanding.“

    The two main actors convey very authentically and impressively that this can be difficult even for two people who seem to be made for each other, who desire and love each other. But perhaps William and Johan first need to figure out for themselves who they really are and what they want for themselves and their lives. Can there still be a happy ending for the two of them? Fortunately, Mathias Broe leaves that open. Reality is usually more complex and complicated than the simpler feel-good films would have us believe.

    Portrait of the director of the queer film „Sauna“ about love in the gay sauna.
    Press photo of the director of the queer romance film „Sauna“.

    „Sauna“. Director Mathias Broe. With Magnus Juhl Andersen, Nina Terese Rask, Dilan Amin. DK 2025, Danish-Swedish original version with German subtitles.

    From the beginning of November in the Queer film night. Regular cinema release: 20 November.
    Link to the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skc7j4iG1rI

  • PrEP provides safety: HiV prevention, self-determination and care among trans women

    PrEP provides safety: HiV prevention, self-determination and care among trans women

    A trans woman's report on self-determination, trust and solidarity

    Before I even started PrEP, I wanted to understand what this tablet actually does. PrEP protects the body from a possible HIV infection. The medication blocks the virus before it can settle in the body. It is not a guarantee, but it is an effective precaution.

    Medical start with PrEP: HIV tests, values and responsibility

    Before I started, my blood values were checked, HIV test, kidney and liver values, hormones. I remember waiting for the results. This silent trembling between hope and fear. The values were unremarkable. Creatinine 0.81, GFR over 60, so stable kidney function. Liver unremarkable. Hormones in the target range, estradiol 141, testosterone 1.80. No evidence of infection. Everything in the green zone. I was ready. Ready to take responsibility, for myself, for my body, for the people I share closeness with.

    Everyday life with PrEP: routine, emotions and self-determination

    I took PrEP every day for a month. Without exception. I never forgot a tablet. I wanted to know what it felt like, not just medically, but emotionally. As a trans woman who takes hormones every day anyway, this was nothing new. Medication is part of my everyday life. But PrEP was different. Not part of my transition, not a step outwards. But something inward. Something to do with trust. The tablets are big. Honestly, it was a little overwhelming at first. I took a deep breath, swallowed and at some point it became routine.

    Hand with blue PrEP tablet - daily intake as protection, routine and confidence of a trans woman.
    A PrEP tablet every day - safety, self-determination and trust become routine.

    Something very special. I have experienced so many times that others wanted to make decisions about my body. Doctors, experts, authorities. With PrEP, it was my decision again for the first time. My body, my protection, my trust. For so long, my body was a political terrain. With PrEP, it became a safe place. For me. And for others. Physically, hardly anything has changed. Just a headache now and again. Maybe it was the weather, maybe the medication. I don't know. But the decisive factor wasn't physical. It was something else. Something emotional.

    Closeness and care: How PrEP creates security in relationships

    I have no fear of contact with people who are HIV positive. Maybe in the past, yes. I grew up in a world where HIV was associated with fear. With guilt, with stigma. But that was a long time ago. I got to know people, listened and learnt. Especially in sex work, where trust, protection and responsibility are so closely intertwined. PrEP has changed this feeling. It has given me security. Not just for myself, but also for the people I was intimate with. If you really think about people, if you take their safety as seriously as your own, then closeness changes. PrEP doesn't just reduce the risk of infection. It takes some of the weight off intimacy. And that is perhaps the real prevention.

    Work and risk: Why many trans women need PrEP

    Many trans women around the world are in sex work, and that is no coincidence. Discrimination, poverty, rejection on the labour market, lack of documents, lack of security, invisibility, anti-trans laws. All of this pushes many into areas that others avoid. And at the same time, these spaces are often the only ones where trans women are seen, desired, but not always respected. PrEP has a different meaning in this reality. It is not just protection from a virus. It is protection from a system that constantly defines us as a risk. When society tells you that you are dangerous, self-protection becomes a form of dignity. A form of resistance.

    Access and care: Hurdles in the healthcare system for trans women

    I have seen colleagues who live in this uncertainty. Many want to protect themselves but don't know where they can get PrEP or don't trust doctors because they too often feel that they are not meant to be there. Yet they are the ones who need PrEP the most. And get it the least. I not only had to fight for my gender, but also for my access to protection. My first visit to the doctor for PrEP was friendly but awkward. He didn't know what to do with me. Asked if I was having sex with men despite hormones. „Men.“ Whether that was even necessary. I had to explain that protection has nothing to do with identity. It's about life, about care.

    Empty treatment room - symbolises barriers and insecurity in accessing PrEP for trans women.
    If queer-sensitive care is lacking, gaps remain.

    Many trans women do not have doctors who take them seriously. They have to put together their own healthcare, with knowledge from the community, with mutual support. PrEP thus also becomes a symbol. An expression of collective care in a society that often leaves us to our own devices. My current doctor is very different. He is very enlightened, very sensitive, questioning and not overbearing. Apart from the fact that I also get my hormone treatment there. The practice itself is queer and trans, and you can tell. You can feel that you're not a second-class or even a first-class patient. A little unsponsored surreptitious advertising. ViRo Schillerkiez. Thank you for simply being normal.

    More than medicine: PrEP as self-determination, solidarity and care

    Trans women are often seen as a risk in medicine. As a statistic. As a category. But rarely as people who take responsibility, who care, who protect themselves and at the same time think about others. When a trans woman takes PrEP, it's not just medical. It's also political. It is an I take control of my body. I take what is rightfully mine. I protect myself because I want to live. Not because I'm a risk. I know that many trans women are living with HIV. And that this topic is often hushed up in our community. There are so many who are doubly stigmatised.

    For their gender. For their HIV status. Being HIV positive and trans are not mutually exclusive. It just means that you have to fight against prejudice twice. I am HIV negative, but I know how it feels when your own body is seen as a risk. Maybe that's why I understand how much love there is in this little pill. For me, PrEP is also a sign of solidarity. An I see you. An I want you to feel safe. I have never been afraid of HIV-positive people. But I know the fear of my own vulnerability. And PrEP has helped me to turn this fear into confidence.

    Symbol of self-determination, protection and solidarity through PrEP
    Between stigma, vulnerability and self-protection - PrEP as more than just medicine for trans women.

    Thinking PrEP politically: visibility, self-determination and prevention culture

    I often think about how PrEP is read politically. For cis gay men, it was a liberating step, a symbol of sexual self-determination. For trans women it is too, but on a different level. It is not just protection, but visibility. We are part of this culture of prevention, even if we are often missing from studies. I would like us to be seen not just as a risk group, but as people who bear responsibility. That our stories of care, love and trust are told in the same way as our statistics.

    I see PrEP as part of a larger movement. One that says that caring can be radical. That safety should not be a privilege. And that solidarity sometimes starts with a little blue pill. Today, I often think about how much I demanded of my body. How much it has endured. And that I finally wanted to give it something in return. Maybe that's the real reason why I took PrEP. Not just to protect myself, but to keep myself going. To get closer to myself.

    FAQ about PrEP

    This FAQ section summarises answers on PrEP for trans women: effectiveness against HIV, intake, tolerability, access and how prevention strengthens self-determination and care.

    What is PrEP and how does it protect against HIV?

    PrEP is a preventive medication that greatly reduces the risk of HIV infection if it is taken correctly. It does not replace condoms and does not protect against other STIs.

    How do you start PrEP?

    Before starting, a current HIV test, kidney values and other basic checks should be carried out by a doctor. Thereafter, regular checks and tests for STIs are carried out at agreed intervals.

    Tolerance: What side effects should I expect?

    Many people tolerate PrEP well. Temporary headaches, nausea or gastrointestinal complaints may occur at the beginning. If symptoms persist or are severe, the doctor's surgery should be contacted.

    Is PrEP compatible with hormone treatment?

    PrEP can usually be combined with feminising hormone therapy. However, individual differences are possible; regular medical check-ups are important.

    Where can I get PrEP and counselling?

    The places to go are HIV centres, checkpoints, AIDS service organisations and queer-friendly GPs and specialists. There you will receive counselling, tests and ongoing support.

    About the author Joelina Yavaş

    Portrait of a trans woman, author and queer Muslim activist who writes about PrEP, HIV prevention and self-determination
    Trans author and queer Muslim activist who writes about bodies, vulnerability, PrEP, HIV prevention and safe spaces for marginalised people.

    Joelina Yavaş is a trans woman, author and queer Muslim activist. In her texts, she writes about bodies, vulnerability and self-determination and about the ways in which trans and multiply marginalised people reclaim spaces of safety and closeness.

    Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/drjoelina.bsky.social

    Instaprofile: @drjoelina and the public one: @joelina_j 

    My block - Trans & defiant: https://ko-fi.com/joelina

  • What is trans hostility and why is it on the rise?

    What is trans hostility and why is it on the rise?

    The latest empirical surveys show a downward trend in the acceptance of queer diversity. Trans people are particularly affected by this. The „Diversity Barometer 2025“ commissioned by the Robert Bosch Stiftung confirms the trend. Although acceptance is still positive, it is declining. As the study categorises trans as a sexual orientation, specific findings are largely ignored.

    However, two statements have a trans focus and the values here are particularly striking: „Transsexuals should keep to themselves“ and „Changing gender is against nature“. The first statement was rejected by 56 % of respondents, the second by only 34 %, while 23 % agreed with it unreservedly (in between were the gradations „not very true“ with 18 % and „fairly true“ with 12 %).

    As far as the downward trend in acceptance is concerned, we are already familiar with corresponding findings from the USA. However, it is not clear from these empirical snapshots why this is the case. But that is precisely the interesting question. There is often talk of the majority of society being overwhelmed by certain issues, as well as of increasing political polarisation resulting in a split in society.

    The constant bombardment of right-wing populists and right-wing extremists - flanked by supposedly feminist and religious fundamentalist groups - plays an important role. This is all the more true when anti-trans positions are elevated to a government programme, as has been the case with the renewed Trump presidency in the USA since the beginning of the year. On the one hand, this makes it easy to see how easily attitudes can be manipulated and the tendency to go along with general sentiments.

    Three people hold hands and defy the headwind - symbolic image of trans hostility and self-determination.
    Symbolic image: Trans communities in the headwind - self-determination provides support.

    What does trans hostility mean - and who does it affect?

    Either way, we cannot ignore the fact that trans hostility is currently on the rise in society. Because this is the case, I would like to take a closer look at the question of what we mean by trans hostility. Because its forms are wide-ranging and not necessarily always recognisable at first glance. However, its overt forms are easily recognisable. Hate and violence are the most visible. Their increase is documented in police statistics, although it can be assumed that there is an unquantifiable dark field, i.e. discrimination that is not even reported and reported, and on the other hand, the increasing number of registered trans-hostile offences in recent times is likely to reflect a growing awareness of the issue.

    To come back to the „diversity barometer“. This also expresses trans hostility in numerical terms. If 13 % of respondents agree that trans people should keep to themselves and 8 % largely share this view, then this means nothing other than that around one in five people are against the social visibility of trans people. Even without knowing the specific motives, social exclusion is most likely to stem from a hostile attitude, however it is characterised. In any case, such an attitude jeopardises both equal rights and the social participation of trans people.

    For the second statement, the figures in the negative range also speak in favour of a tendency towards anti-trans attitudes. This is because those who consider trans to be unnatural ultimately locate it in the spectrum of illness and perversion. It should be noted here that biology is fundamentally instrumentalised as an objection to trans. However, this is based on an error of reasoning, namely that a narrow, culturally characterised concept of naturalness is invoked. I will go into this in more detail later. Just this much in advance: the biology argument in the context of trans proves to be one of the favourites in the range of anti-trans narratives.

    Hidden trans hostility: internal dynamics in trans and queer communities

    I want to focus here on the hidden, not always obvious trans hostility that appears through the back door, so to speak. The fact that we also find it in the queer community and even in the trans community may be surprising and alienating, but unfortunately it is part of everyday life. The motives for this are difficult to discern, because when a trans woman describes herself as sick and abnormal and vehemently speaks out against gender self-determination, which she has ultimately claimed through her transition, we may perceive this as a regressive attitude, but the actual motive cannot be recognised. We can only speculate whether this is due to self-hatred, for example, or whether it is an internalisation of negative external attributions.

    SBGG in focus: Protection of self-determination vs. the debate on abuse in trans

    A broad gateway for trans hostility is the misuse debate surrounding the Self-Determination Act (SBGG) and the fact that those who use it to change their name and civil status (change of gender entry) because they are trans, inter or non-binary and therefore have a comprehensible reason to do so can do so by submitting a low-threshold application to the relevant registry office and providing self-disclosure. This is precisely the essence of gender self-determination.

    The SBGG has now been in force for just under a year and seems to be working on the whole. Currently, 22,000 people across Germany are said to have utilised the law to date, although it can be assumed that the number will be lower in the future, as the initial backlog should have been cleared by now. However, there was one obvious case of abuse by a right-wing extremist, an abuse that was announced and for political reasons, primarily to discredit the SBGG.

    Scales and judge's gavel - symbolic image of SBGG, self-determination and the debate about trans-hostile abuse.
    Symbolic image: SBGG protects self-determination - the abuse debate feeds anti-trans narratives.

    Categorise cases of abuse: Protect SBGG, strengthen self-determination - against trans-hostile regression

    However, despite a heated media debate, it cannot really be claimed that this has caused the rule of law to falter or that the SBGG and thus gender self-determination has been called into question. It is obvious that such abuse ultimately follows an anti-trans impulse. However, the solution cannot be to cancel the principle of self-determination in order to return to, for example, the assessment as we know it from the so-called Transsexuals Act. In my opinion, the solution can only be to penalise obvious abuse. In other words, the SBGG needs to be criminalised.

    The creation of the SBGG was already accompanied by an ongoing debate about abuse, which contained a highly trans-hostile potential. It was discussed, for example, that men could use the law to gain access to gender-specific spaces, i.e. access to women's saunas, women's prisons and all places reserved for women, such as toilets, changing rooms, etc. But also to hijack women's quotas or women's car parks. But also, for example, to hijack the women's quota or use women's car parks.

    Even if men were always mentioned, trans women also came under the radar of suspicion of abuse, combined with the conclusion that the changed gender entry was on paper but did not apply in reality. Reservations and resentment against trans women took full effect here and ultimately left clear traces in the legal text.

    Legal loopholes: Military paragraph, equality principle and de facto trans-hostile effects

    This was also the case with the so-called military paragraph, which suspends the change of gender entry in the event of defence, as if trans women would then cease to be trans. Trans men are not affected by this, which violates the principle of equality with regard to trans women, according to which all people are equal before the law.

    This is another example of poorly concealed and basically blatant trans hostility that attacks our integrity head-on. Incidentally, the legislator does not seem to be aware of the right to conscientious objection enshrined in the Basic Law. No change in civil status is required to exercise this right. Such scenarios show how deeply reservations about trans people are anchored in legal practice. The prime example is the so-called Transsexuals Act. Its restrictive nature led to several human rights violations, which the Federal Constitutional Court gradually eliminated.

    Teacher at the front explains ways out of trans hostility to a group - education, legal protection and lived self-determination.
    Sketch: Queer teacher leads through a workshop - education, legal protection and lived self-determination as answers to trans hostility.

    Recognising gender identity: Language, rights and self-determination for trans people

    Let us turn to another area of discrimination that has already been briefly mentioned here: This is the talk of so-called biological gender, which is associated with two main statements. Firstly, it is intended to emphasise that there are only two genders. However, nobody in their right mind would deny the fact that there are women and men with distinct physical characteristics.

    Where trans people find themselves in a gender binary defined by reproduction remains open, of course. After all, trans cannot be explained by gonads and genes. On the other hand, the existence of trans is also a fact that is supplemented by the findings of ethnology and cultural history research to the effect that there have always been people like me everywhere in the world, i.e. people who have changed gender roles.

    The reference to the fact that nature is characterised by a wealth of variants, intended as a defence of sexual diversity, is true when it comes to sexual characteristics or hormonal and chromosomal issues, and is understandable as an objection to strict bisexuality, but is unfortunately not really helpful in answering the question of why trans exists. We cannot find a conclusive answer in it. The fact that this why cannot (yet) be answered makes us - unsurprisingly - easily vulnerable. The broad anti-trans front confirms this.

    Ways out of trans hostility: education, legal protection and active self-determination

    I had spoken of two different statements in connection with the talk of biological gender. The first statement claims that there are only two genders and leaves out trans people. The second denies gender identity, i.e. what characterises the reality of trans people's lives. It assumes that trans people always remain their birth gender regardless of body-altering measures. The statement is then: a trans woman remains a biological man and a trans man remains a biological woman. Such thinking has far-reaching consequences. Without going into detail here, its traces can be traced right through to current legislation, where a term such as gender identity is consistently avoided. The consequence: trans remains excluded, does not count wherever questions of gender are concerned.

    I think it is obvious what is trans-hostile about it. It is a frontal attack on our integrity that casts doubt on our human ‚authenticity‘. The Self-Determination Act allows us gender self-determination on the one hand, but treats the confirmed gender identity as something second-class, not of full value.

    Ways out of trans hostility: education and self-determination

    There is no doubt that we are still at the beginning - despite all that has been achieved. The SBGG was made for trans, inter and non-binary people, but it looks like society as a whole still has to become gender-fluid.

    FAQ on trans hostility

    This FAQ section explains trans hostility and shows ways out - with a focus on trans perspectives, SBGG and self-determination. Use this FAQ section to quickly find definitions, figures, legal protection and practical tips.

    What is trans hostility?

    Trans hostility refers to derogatory attitudes, language or actions towards trans people - from mockery and misgendering to discrimination and violence. It has an individual, institutional and structural effect and reduces visibility and self-determination.

    Why is trans hostility on the rise?

    Polarised debates, disinformation and political tailwinds for anti-trans narratives reinforce prejudices. Where emotions dominate and facts are lacking, acceptance declines; influential actors accelerate this effect.

    What forms of trans hostility are there?

    Openly: Verbal abuse, threats, assaults. Covert: Gatekeeping, bureaucratic hurdles, ignoring gender identity and the „biology“ argument. Both restrict participation and self-determination.

    What is the SBGG?

    The SBGG is the Self-Determination Act. It makes it easier for trans, intersex and non-binary people to change their name and gender entry, thereby strengthening legal self-determination.

    What role does the SBGG play in the context of trans hostility?

    It removes barriers and protects dignity. At the same time, it is sometimes instrumentalised in anti-trans debates about abuse. The aim should be to take clear action against abuse without weakening the principle of self-determination.

    What is the Self-Determination Act?

    The Self-Determination Act (SBGG) regulates how people can change their first name and gender entry on their own responsibility. It replaces degrading assessments, simplifies procedures and strengthens legal protection and self-determination.

  • Cruising: A queer utopia

    Cruising: A queer utopia

    Once, when Orlando and I were lounging on a plum bush, his sombrero fell off. I grabbed the hat, ran away and hid behind a plant in a secluded spot. He understood exactly what I wanted; we pulled down our trousers and began to masturbate.

    (Reinaldo Arenas: Before night falls)

    Several colourfully alienated naked male bodies in a pop art aesthetic - symbolic of queer cruising, desire and body freedom in public space.
    Cruising as a queer place of longing - a utopia beyond the norm emerges between nature, lust and gazes.

    Naked in the forest - and not alone

    The path in the Grunewald forest is a winding labyrinth, as if created by human hands. Or rather: by human feet. Only my footsteps can be heard, an occasional bird call. The temperature is pleasant on this afternoon in late May. Apart from my trainers, I am naked. I catch a glimpse of a man, also naked, leaning against a tree. Another man is kneeling in front of him and sucking his cock. The man looks at me impassively, but I lower my gaze. Every fibre in my body pulls me towards the scene, but another impulse in me is stronger and I keep walking.

    From writing to self-experimentation

    When I was asked to write a text about cruising locations, my first thought was: I don't have much experience with cruising. So I set off in search of clues, read texts, asked friends, rummaged through my memories and conducted a self-experiment in Grunewald.

    I remember last summer when I went to the somewhat secluded caves on the gay beach in Sitges with my partner. I remember how exciting it was to discover this place with him. How we first made out in pairs, and later with a whole group of boys. How I seemed to be completely at peace with myself, my knees chafed by the sand, lapped by the regular waves of the Mediterranean.

    Cruising, writes Henry Hagemann in his historical search for clues Cruising locationsis a historically evolved practice in which gay men and queer people seek quick intimacy in semi-public spaces with the help of codes and non-verbal communication.

    On the one hand, the anonymity of cruising offers protection from criminal and social discrimination, while on the other, the potential danger of being caught is associated with thrills and excitement, which further fuels sexual desire.

    Cruising: between art and eye contact

    I step back into the clearing in the Grunewald forest, where a friend of mine is looking after our things. "So?" I shake my head. We continue talking about the "imperfect art" of cruising, as Mexican activist and author Leo Herrera calls it. "Pretend you're in a museum. You are either the art or the viewer," writes Herrera in his (analogue) Cruising Manual. My friend describes it like this:

    "If you see someone you find attractive, you look them in the eye, if not, you avoid eye contact." I remember so many moments in my life when I averted my eyes although or just because I found someone attractive. Naively, I ask if smiling is allowed when cruising. "You can if you want to be cute - but usually you just grab your crotch. When you're both doing it, you get down to business." Herrera writes of a "smirk", which can perhaps be translated as a "meaningful grin". Holding the gaze, a meaningful grin, grabbing the cock... I feel completely untrained in this coded language, which is rather a coded silence that, according to Herrera, is intended to serve "both safety and fantasy".

    It is precisely these fantasies that the cruisers I interviewed emphasise: "I have a certain fantasy and go on the hunt for someone who can play this role." Another friend I meet on the naturist meadow in Hasenheide tells me:

    Cruising - wider than expected

    I read that Charles Baudelaire and Oscar Wilde could be considered prominent first cruisers. The strolling of well-to-do men was not an uncommon sight in Victorian England. I remember being approached by a man while strolling the streets of Manhattan when I was 19 and then walking home with him. The same thing happened to me again at 34, when I was in Madrid for the first time. Perhaps these were cruising experiences without me labelling them as such. Maybe my previous definition of cruising as anonymous sex in parks and "flaps" was a bit too narrow.

    Sign with the inscription "WC" against a green background - an indication of a public toilet as a cruising location.
    Public toilets, so-called flaps, are considered classic places for anonymous cruising.

    Flaps, i.e. public toilets, are predestined for cruising: a potential sex partner's cock is inspected at the urinal. Most of the friends I talk to about cruising are not fans of toilet sex - they say it's a less personal encounter than in the great outdoors. But flaps and motorway service stations offer greater anonymity for cruisers who are not out or gay - in contrast to gay bars, pubs and saunas, for example, whose often labyrinthine layout is reminiscent of the winding paths in parks and forests.

    Cruising - instinct or coincidence?

    I realise that I have found myself at cruising locations again and again throughout my life. Did this happen by chance? Or because of an innate "gay instinct"? I've always liked lying naked on the Werdinsel in Zurich or in the Hasenheide in Berlin, usually engrossed in a book. When I think of One hundred years of lonelinessI think of the nudist beach at Müggelsee at the same time. How many interested and interesting men must have walked past my naked bum while I - apparently or actually - only had eyes for Aureliano Buendía, the introverted protagonist of the novel?

    The connection between nature and gay sex has a long tradition: Reinaldo Arenas - Cuban writer and dissident - instinctively knew during his first sexual experience in the early 1950s that what he wanted to do with his cousin Orlando had to take place in a secluded location. Cruising locations in nature are usually a little harder to get to - while the families with children, cars and a thousand things bustle on the beach next to the car park, the cruiser wanders further along the beach, possibly climbing over rocks and fighting his way through bushes until he reaches a lagoon with caves and crystal-clear water.

    Cruising locations as shelters for queer freedom

    Through the practice of cruising, cruisers appropriate less accessible places "in a spiritual way", as one friend puts it. In this way, cruising spaces become a queer utopia: places secluded from the judgemental outside world where we can enjoy our own and other people's bodies - our sexuality - without shame. Or, to paraphrase the Cuban-American theorist José Esteban Muñoz: Cruising as the cautious search for new forms of desire and life, for a better "there" as opposed to a standardised "here".

    The fact that these utopian spaces can also exist in reality depends on a delicate balance between political decision-makers and the cruisers themselves. In Hasenheide, for example, large areas are currently cordoned off because new trees and grass are being planted. However, the naturist meadow, of all places, is not cordoned off. Apparently the political authorities here are concerned about preserving this space.

    From shelter to target of repression

    But this is not always the case: cruising areas are often deliberately destroyed by trimming bushes, for example, accompanied by sex-hostile and homophobic public discourse. Cruising areas have also been - and still are in many parts of the world - deliberately used by undercover police officers to criminalise homosexual acts. A good counter-example is the officially signposted cruising area in Amsterdam. Here, the cruisers in return ensure that cruising is limited to this specific area and does not get out of control.

    I remember meeting a man on a lonely beach in Tarragona, Spain, two years ago - a man I had previously texted with on Grindr. I've always found it easier to get in touch with men online, even though as an Xennial I was still very familiar with a world without the internet. I usually met my first sexual contacts while dancing in gay clubs. The gay dance club and the dating app are also cruising rooms. However, the friend in Hasenheide doesn't think much of online cruising: "You can spend two hours on Grindr to - maybe - find the perfect guy. But I often have a higher success rate when cruising outside, and it's definitely more fun than chatting endlessly."

    A walk into your own longing

    During my self-experiment, I walk a second time through the labyrinthine bushes in Grunewald forest. It's now dusk, the air is cooler - and I don't meet anyone else. As I listen to my footsteps and the birds, I ask myself what's stopping me from going out cruising more, why I look for sex almost exclusively on apps. It probably also has to do with a certain performance anxiety, exacerbated by all the internalised images of gay porn.

    Much of what I learnt about cruising during my research fascinates me: the outdoor sex, the openness to different bodies, the pursuit of fantasies, being surprised in the moment, the utopian nature of these places, the historical and spiritual connection to my queer ancestors, cruising as a rebellious alternative to homosexual lifestyles, which are becoming more and more like the heterosexual majority society. And perhaps this kind of cruising could even heal certain aspects of my sexuality - which is still shameful even after 30 years.

    I step out of the forest into the clearing and decide to come here more often in future.

  • The battle with "lewd writings" - today and 100 years ago

    The battle with "lewd writings" - today and 100 years ago

    What is considered nudity anyway?

    Our YouTube channel was blocked at the beginning of June. The reason? Alleged "nudity". This type of blocking often raises the question of queer censorship. One could discuss here what the depiction of nudity actually means. Is it simply bare skin, for example a video of cheerful men without tops, enjoying their company but not engaging in any sexual activity? Or is an image only categorised as pornographic when genitals are visible, regardless of the context? Is nudity always a bad thing or can it also serve good purposes?

    The fact that such questions have to be asked in 2025 is the best illustration of how far society has fallen behind as a result of the shift to the right in recent years. Make no mistake: it is no coincidence that this move comes at a time when right-wing and far-right discourse is increasing dramatically and US corporations - our supposed "allies" - are unmasking themselves under the influence of Donald Trump's anti-"woke" policies. As soon as a different political wind blows and support is no longer worthwhile, the big players like Meta and Alphabet show their true colours. They have never been serious about the rights of LGBTIQ+ people, they just wanted to make money out of it. The fact that what is defined as a breach of policy primarily affects diversity endeavours - including queer education and prevention work - is symptomatic.

    Apart from the fact that nudity is simply aesthetic - as the artists of antiquity already knew - it has often played an activist and political role in modern history. The fight against nudity (both real and perceived) in any form is just as old. In the following article, parallels will be drawn between today's queer movement and the first German queer movement (ca. 1897-1933). The context may be different, but the challenges are anything but new.

    The beginnings of a struggle for self-determination

    Title page of Karl Heinrich Ulrichs' pamphlet "Vindex" from 1864 - one of the first legal defences of homosexual love.
    "Vindex", the first writing by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, published under the pseudonym "Numa Numantius". Source: Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ulrichs_1_-_Vindex.jpg)

    Modern queer activism originated in Germany in the late nineteenth century. The primarily journalistic activity of the early pioneer Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (1825-1895) strongly influenced his later comrades-in-arms. Nevertheless, Ulrichs published his writings under the pseudonym "Numa Numantius", as the consequences of an affirmative treatment of homosexuality could have been serious.

    Another queer pioneer was influenced by Ulrichs, namely Magnus Hirschfeld (1868-1935), co-founder of the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee (WhK) and editor of its organ, the "Jahrbuch für sexuelle Zwischenstufen". In 1919, he founded the Institute for Sexual Science, the first globally recognised queer educational institution, which was plundered soon after the Nazis came to power. What set Hirschfeld apart from other leaders of the "homosexual" movement was his inclusivity towards different forms of queerness and different social groups: "aunties", effeminate men, masculine women, trans* people and sex workers.

    Explicit male prostitution was a central point of contention in the queer activist milieu of the time. Under the leadership of Friedrich Radszuweit, the Bund für Menschenrecht (BfM), the leading and largest queer umbrella organisation in Germany from 1923, acted according to the guiding principle of "respectability", which sacrificed solidarity with "indecent" queers. The Gemeinschaft der Eigenen (GdE), founded in 1903, on the other hand, was an all-male grouping of elitist and conservative anti-feminists who only saw women in a subordinate role as mothers and house carers.

    The battle with "lewd writings"

    Cover of the magazine "Der Eigene" from 1919 with two naked men in the garden - an example of early queer self-representation and the associated history of censorship.
    An issue of "Der Eigene" from 1919. The magazine regularly contained images of naked men and even boys and teenagers. Source: Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Der_Eigene_1919_vol_7.jpg) Source: Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ulrichs_1_-_Vindex.jpg)

    Despite his problematic ideological stance, Adolf Brand (1874-1945), co-founder and long-time director of the GdE, also made some contributions to queer emancipation. According to current knowledge, the magazine "Der Eigene", which he published irregularly from 1896, is the first homosexual magazine in the world, even if it was aimed at a more upscale (and implicitly male) readership. As "Der Eigene" often contained images of naked men and thus violated Section 184 (sale and distribution of "lewd" writings), Brand had to stand trial several times and even serve prison sentences. Incidentally, the "Jahrbuch für sexuelle Zwischenstufen", a scientific publication, was spared a similar fate.

    It should be noted here that many of the photos in "Der Eigene" are actually very problematic, even from today's perspective, because they often depict naked boys and teenagers. This was thematised, among other things, in the exhibition "Coming to terms: Sexualised violence against children and young people in the context of emancipation" in the Gay Museum at the end of 2023 and beginning of 2024.

    After the Weimar Constitution came into force in 1919, queer emancipation developed into a mass movement. This was made possible by the publication of the magazine "Die Freundschaft", which networked queer people throughout Germany and initiated the founding of local "friendship associations". However, the editorial team had to reckon with inconvenience right from the start: A report was made to the authorities within the first few weeks. Although the editor Karl Schultz was acquitted in March 1920 of the charge of offending morality under § 184, a year later he was sentenced to six weeks in prison.

    This time the offence was procuring. How was this charge justified? The decisive factor was the adverts, i.e. personal adverts, which encouraged queer people to get to know each other and possibly - according to the court's reasoning - also sexual contact. Consequently, they disappeared from the magazine and were now only available as part of a subscription to a separate extra sheet.

    Preservation of youth

    Advertisement page from the magazine "Die Freundschaft" with contact adverts for queer men - a historical example of queer networking and visibility in the Weimar Republic.
    A sample advert page from "Die Freundin". Adverts were often the subject of great controversy and even criminal proceedings. Source: Forum Queeres Archiv München (https://archiv.forummuenchen.org/zeitschrift/die-freundin/)

    In February 1923, the legal problems of "Die Freundschaft" returned. In the course of renewed censorship proceedings, the magazine was suspended by the authorities for three months. In 1926, the Reichstag passed the law "for the protection of youth from obscene and dirty writings", in the creation of which the Christian "morality associations" played a key role. It introduced a list of obscene writings that included not only queer literature and on which individual editions could be placed. A corresponding entry meant that the respective edition could not be displayed publicly, but could only be sold on request (i.e. under the counter, so to speak). As the name of the law suggests, this was justified by the protection of minors.

    Several issues of queer magazines, including "Frauenliebe" in 1927 and "Die Insel" in 1928, made it onto the list. A common counter-strategy was to sell the magazine under a different title so as not to interrupt the continuity of issues. In 1928-29, for example, "Die Freundin" was sold as "Ledige Frauen" after the former had been placed on the list. Sometimes individual newsagents got into difficulties without knowing about the ban on individual issues.

    Other facets of censorship

    Book cover of Walter Homann's "Diary of a Male Bride" with a historical photograph of a person in a wedding dress - inspired by the trans identity of Dina Alma de Paradeda.
    Walter Homann's novel "Diary of a Male Bride". Even though the two censorship proceedings failed, cuts had to be made to the most controversial material. Source: Männerschwarm Verlag (https://www.maennerschwarm.de/buch/tagebuch-einer-maennlichen-braut/)

    Novels and films also fell victim to censorship. One example is Walter Homann's Diary of a male bridewhich was inspired by the story of the self-proclaimed "Comtesse" (or countess) Dina Alma de Paradeda. The novel was even censored twice (in 1907 and 1928). Even though both trials ended favourably for the book, the great furore surrounding its publication led to the most controversial material being cut in subsequent editions.

    The first German film and one of the first in the world to address homosexuality - Richard Oswald's Different from the others -, was banned in August 1920, over a year after its premiere. Although the production is about the same-sex love between a musician and his adult pupil, there is hardly any affection in the film, let alone a kiss. Nevertheless, the film caused huge controversy and there were protests against its broadcast in many cities across Germany.

    Hirschfeld, who played a key role in the film and had already been exposed to hostility in the past due to his work, became the arch-enemy of the extreme right as a result of the controversy. He was attacked several times, in October 1920 in Munich so badly that some newspapers prematurely announced his death. Some of his lectures were cancelled with explicit reference to his involvement in the film, others degenerated into riots with the use of stink bombs and fireworks.

    Film poster for "Anders als die Andern" (1920) - the first German feature film with a homosexual theme, with scientific advice from Magnus Hirschfeld.
    Poster of the film "Anders als die Andern", which was banned in August 1920 after more than a year of protests. Source: Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Anders_als_die_andern_1919_poster.jpg)

    Another form of "censorship" and intimidation that deserves its own article is the police surveillance of queer meeting places. In cities such as Dresden, Chemnitz, Munich and Hanover, queers were even registered and interrogated in the 1920s. Raids were not uncommon either: on 2 July 1921, for example, a party organised by the Görlitz Friendship Association at the Hotel Namenlos was interrupted by a local police operation. A total of 23 people were arrested and detained until 12 noon the next day, two of them even for a day longer. The charge was pimping, but in the end no charges were brought.

    Technological repression

    Today, of course, we live in a different world and enjoy significantly more acceptance and rights than our queer ancestors. But it is precisely these that are increasingly being called into question, jeopardising the achievements of the struggles of the last sixty years. Against this backdrop, the alliance between the far right and large technology companies seems all the more frightening.

    What was openly and aggressively combated by the authorities a hundred years ago as fornication, a violation of morality or in the name of protecting minors is now being tackled much more subtly and seemingly harmlessly. Under the guise of "community guidelines", "safe" or "advertiser-friendly content", queer content, safer sex education and HIV prevention are censored. Some forms of censorship, such as shadow banning or age restrictions, are not immediately recognisable and are therefore much less visible. In addition, decisions on the authorisation of online content are increasingly being made by algorithms rather than humans.

    In the worst-case scenario, this can cost lives. Queer young people in particular need access to information that not only educates them about sexual health, but also protects them from feelings of inferiority or even suicidal thoughts. HIV prevention and queer education work must not fall victim to the algorithm regime under any circumstances.

    Whenever there are warnings about the dangers of the increasing right-wing radicalisation of society and the possibility of a far-right government, many people say: "It won't be that bad." A hundred years ago, the prospect of Adolf Hitler coming to power was played down in the same way. A few years ago, the risk of political data misuse by US big tech companies also seemed unlikely and was trivialised by many. Today, we can no longer be so sure.

    Bibliography

    Beachy, Robert. Gay Berlin: Birthplace of a Modern Identity. 2014. New York City: Vintage Books, 2015.

    Foit, Mathias. Queer Urbanisms in Wilhelmine and Weimar Germany: Of Towns and Villages. Cham, Switzerland: Palgrave Macmillan, 2023.

    Dobler, Jens. "Epilogue." In Diary of a male brideed. Dobler, 154-175, Hamburg: Männerschwarm Verlag, 2010.

    -. Police and homosexuals in the Weimar Republic: On the construction of the scapegoat. Berlin: Metropol Verlag, 2020.

    -"Censorship of books and magazines with homosexual themes in the Weimar Republic." Invertito - Yearbook for the history of homosexuality 2 (2000): 85-104.

    Malakaj, Ervin. Different from the others. Montreal, Quebec: McGill-Queen's University Press, 2023.

    Micheler, Stefan. Magazines, associations and clubs for same-sex desiring people in the Weimar Republic. Stefan Micheler Homepage. August 1, 2008. www.StefanMicheler.de/zvlggbm/stm_zvlggbm.pdf.

    Vendrell, Javier Samper. The Seduction of Youth: Print Culture and Homosexual Rights in the Weimar Republic. Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 2020.

    More about censorship & visibility

    Press report:

    YouTube deletes gay prevention channel - just in time for Pride Month

    Statement from IWWIT:

    Our IWWIT YouTube channel has been deleted

  • Our IWWIT YouTube channel has been deleted

    Our IWWIT YouTube channel has been deleted

    Just in time for Pride Month YouTube removed our channel without any warning.
    The reason? Our videos on Sexuality, queer realities of life and Safer sex would violate guidelines on "sex and nudity" - and were allegedly "a danger for the community".

    That's a slap in the face - and not just for us,
    but for allwho are in favour of Education, visibility and sexual health use.

    We say: We will not put up with this.

    Our work has a clear public mandate:

    Empower people. Educate people. Promote safer sex.

    Making gender identities visible.

    We make no porn.
    We make Empowerment - for gay, bi+, trans and queer people.

    We now even have to write terms like "sex" with two Gs ("segg") or disguise them with special characters - just so the algorithm doesn't block us.

    What now?
    We will continue. Loud. Visible. Uncomfortable.

    We will not be silenced.
    Our work is important - and we are continuing it.

    We tell you exactly what happened in the video below:

    Explanation of the video

    Campaign management: Jonathan Gregory
    Press and public relations: Chris*tian Gaa

    Just in time for Pride Month, the German AIDS Service Organisation's prevention channel was deleted from YouTube. In this video, Jonathan explains the background and how this could have happened. Chris from the press department explains why the channel is so important for queer health education.

    For press enquiries and further information, please contact us by e-mail. christian.gaa@dah.aidshilfe.de

    Help keep queer education visible!

    Share our video.
    Talk about it.
    Support queer visibility.

    Because: Education is a human right - not an offence.

    Press report on this topic:

  • Sometimes my trans*ness triggers curiosity

    Sometimes my trans*ness triggers curiosity

    P
    Contribution from Paul
    M
    Contribution from Manuel
    Paul
    Manuel

    The first step: fear and excitement

    P

    We both often experience similar, but also very different things when cruising. Tell us how it started for you!

    M

    The first time I wanted to cruise in the park, I was extremely scared. I just didn't know how! The idea of someone realising that I'm trans* and then not wanting me anymore. Or is even angry with me. I'd experienced this before when dating. I could have just told the men, but when I'm cruising, I don't want to talk. That's the attraction for me. My urge to do it was very strong. Exciting in a positive sense. For me, it felt like I belonged to a secret group whose language only a few people speak. My male passing was good. I quickly aroused the interest of others.

    At the same time, it was a dilemma because it wasn't a passing as a trans* person: I was read as 100 % cis, which wasn't my goal at all. I would rather have been read as who I really am. And as a person of colour, I'm read as much more masculine anyway, no matter how I dress. What I actually needed was a scene in which cis men didn't set themselves as the standard. But that didn't happen.

    P

    I know that. Many people think that we as trans* people can be grateful to be allowed to be present in cis places. But for me it's rather boring when other trans* men are missing. I would like to play more with trans* gay men, but many are put off by the trans* hostile vibe of cruising venues. I know myself how hard it was to overcome that.

    M

    Yes, unfortunately. I imagined a darkroom full of trans* people. I would have walked in there naked, positively excited. I would hardly have had any inhibitions about being touched there, without this fear of being rejected because of my genitals. There are now offers for T4T cruising [trans* for trans*]. And there are also some places where trans* and cis people can come together. I could only dream of that in the past.

    Rejection, violence and trans* hostility

    P

    The party thing is cool, but there aren't many outside of Berlin. It's a great addition, but it contradicts the cruising vibe of now-because-I-have-buck. We trans* people always have to plan sex and take on a lot for it.

    When cruising, the good and bad sides are more extreme. It's easier to find someone than when dating, but you also get rejection more blatantly and often more violently in your face. When I'm cruising and I hear a cis man warning others that „now there are women in the shop who claim to be men, or only look like men but aren't real“, I don't go home in protest until I've had sex with someone twice more. Once, a bloke had a go at my cock. When he realised it was different, he laughed in my face with great contempt: how dare I be here. That hits hard. But I've also learnt from the old cis men that I don't let haters take my lust away from me.

    M

    I think you're pretty brave. I don't think we'll ever be able to cruise as freely and uninhibitedly as cis men. That pains me. There are alternatives, but it's not the same. Honestly, it's also dangerous. Enough cis guys get aggressive when they don't get what they think they're getting! They think they're entitled to their expectation. That entitlement is so exhausting. We don't talk enough about violence in gay spaces, especially cis gay men!

    P

    It must also be said that case law in some countries is again so far advanced that our passing, i.e. the alleged concealment, justifies violence. Entitlement will therefore also increase again. It's important to me that young people in particular understand the context. Even if I want to encourage young people not to be deterred from cruising. - But, tell me, what happened with the parks and you?

    M

    It went so far that I spoke to my therapist about it. I really wanted to have sex in the park. I'd often been there to look, but I didn't want to just watch, I didn't want to feel like a peeping Tom. Unfortunately, the parks are not safe at all. The police have stepped up their checks. Bushes were thinned out, street lamps were put up. I saw boys fucking. Suddenly car headlights were pointed at them and the cops took them away in their cars. For some, it was like a thrill, waking up. As a person of colour, however, I've experienced so much racial profiling that the mere sight of police totally puts me off, it's not a thrill for me. Cruising is pretty unsafe for me as a trans* person of colour. - What do you like about cruising?

    What makes cruising so appealing

    P

    I like how easy it is to be horny among men, how easily they can be infected: One minute it's dead in the poorly frequented bar and suddenly there's a pack in the darkroom, all wanking and blowing each other so hard there's no stopping them. This availability and the sheer number of men give me a great feeling of freedom. I really enjoy it, especially with the older men. They have a radical love for male lust, which I experience as my own kind of resistance against homophobia, lust and body hostility.

    M

    I once went to a BDSM shop to cruise at a Combat party after I'd already played at some great queer parties. I was barely there when I realised: Okay, nobody seems to be into me. Bundeswehr uniforms everywhere. I realised that I was alone among white - and presumably some right-wing - men. My trans*ness wasn't the problem here - it didn't even get that far! - but that I wasn't white. I left the party and will never attend it again. These were all important experiences. I first had to learn how to cruise: when, where, with whom. Not knowing what's going to happen is what makes it so exciting for me. I also experience a lot of positive things: men full of desire to have sex with me. If there's no talking, there are no stupid, trans*-hostile or racist comments that turn me off.

    Racism and exclusion in queer spaces

    P

    Oh man, that sounds really bad. I would have been really scared. Cruising makes extremes more visible: how the white-dominated community ignores its racism in restaurants, in cultural spaces, in counselling structures. But in your example, it's even more blatant and dangerous. And nobody feels responsible for changing that.

    M

    I'm usually well received at night by those who reject me during the day. Romeo works well, but people like to delete profiles afterwards. Many cis-gay men are ashamed that they also fancy trans* people. That's a tough scene. It's funny when exactly the same men create a profile again and write to me again. Because they actually liked it.

    P

    I know that one. So embarrassing! I'm also familiar with fatphobia. There are a lot of people who secretly get really horny with fat bodies, but then don't want to be seen with the person. Just no social connection. Interestingly, this also applies to fat_fat men who don't work on their internalised fatphobia. They just melt away during sex and never stop cumming. And then they have to run away quickly ... It's also bizarre, because as activists we would also like to call it a day and only think about sex, not politics. But we always get the short end of the stick. - Is there a setting where you feel more comfortable?

    Safety vs. pleasure: a constant dilemma

    M

    I feel comfortable where I'm safe. But I'm horny in forbidden and rather unsafe places. Those are two different things. It's really difficult to find a compromise here. I don't want to put myself in danger or give up my pleasure. And you?

    P

    I love cruising in bars, saunas or outside where I'm relatively safe. Then I feel like the world is my adventure playground. It gives me a bit of my youth back, which was full of depression and complexes - and always with too little sex! I fit in and move around in big city communities, and as a native German speaker I have easier access to testing services than migrant trans* people or those from the countryside. We are so traumatised in the healthcare system! For many, the question is: Am I putting my health at risk? Do I have to be discriminated against before I can get help? - But tell me: Did you actually go to the park or not?

    M

    Hahaha, yes, at some point my therapist had had enough. She told me to take my anxiety in hand and finally live what I miss so much. That's what I did. It was 11 pm, I was in a gay leather club, the park not far away. Two beers and I was brave enough for the park. With the thought: „Let's see, I don't have to do anything.“ It was summer and busy. A guy looked deep into my eyes and suddenly everything was easy. We were making out, both very aroused. We grabbed each other's trousers, he was chilled. I didn't have to explain anything. I've experienced that time and time again. Once we're aroused, it often seems very easy to overcome trans* hostility. Suddenly what seemed unthinkable before becomes possible. Sex is a good opportunity to make an activist change. We even went for a beer afterwards. His sperm stains on my jacket the next morning - just hot!

    P

    Cool, so it was definitely worth going out with fear. I've also experienced that being horny reduces trans* hostility. Also that cis men take good care of themselves. Even if they are irritated at first because my cock feels different. If they then realise that their boner remains stable, no matter what, then they treat themselves generously. On the one hand, it's great fun, but on the other, you have to fulfil their expectations first. Many have this one fantasy and there's hardly any room for it when cruising.

    As trans*masculine people in particular, we have to learn to get what we need and desire. And accept rejection. That takes a lot of courage. In that sense, cruising is a school for life.

    What we can learn from cruising

    M

    I've learnt so much: that cis men are also afraid, insecure and therefore often perform, take Viagra, that they are also very hard on each other. Not everything is trans*-hostile, a lot of things are simply part of cruising culture. It's not so easy to separate that out, but it's important. Also that cis men are quite good at cancelling encounters or saying no if they no longer like it. Also that a no is taken as a no. - I've learnt how great it feels when I've gone out despite my fears and simply been able to experience beautiful moments.

    P

    That's right. When talking to me, trans* guys are often surprised: they know me as an activist who harshly criticises older cis-gay men in particular. They are surprised by the deep appreciation and love that I also feel for them. This has developed while cruising with them, among other things.

    My preferences, what I find sexier on some bodies than others, that hardly plays a role for me when cruising. The energy, the vibe that someone brings, and of course what you feel like doing - that's what counts. And: what's hot when I put my expectations at the back ...

    M

    Yes, I've had that experience too. With men who had no specific expectations and were open, it could be quite exciting and thrilling - in other words, whenever there was no script to fulfil! Sometimes my trans*ness triggers curiosity. It's an advantage, so to speak. Older gay cis men in particular, who have already had a lot of sex in their lives, are often grateful for new experiences.

    P

    Many are looking for something very special. And as a trans* man, I notice that straight away. For example, someone wants to go down on me, but then realises that my cock feels different than expected and leaves. I often can't understand that because cis dicks are already so different in themselves.

    M

    All in all, cruising has a lot to offer. You can try out and practise a lot, even if you're not in a relationship at the moment or your relationship partner is overwhelmed by your testo-puberty lust.

    During the conversation, we repeatedly pointed out the dangers that we trans* people face when cruising. It's important to me that potential newcomers are aware of this, but don't put anything off. Don't wait until we live in a world or a community where it's safer. Because that may not happen in your lifetime. If you feel like you can handle the negatives, then go right ahead. Let's go cruising! If not, find opportunities, like parties, that feel safer, or start them, organise what you need. Don't waste your precious (sex) life!

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